Happy Birthday Mary Glenn!

Well I have dreaded the next couple of days for a year now. Today marks one year since I gave birth to my sweet angel Mary Glenn. Tomorrow marks one year since I said goodbye to that same angel and she met our Lord and Savior. Wow what a year makes. Every time I even begin to think of what happened a year ago it brings tears to my eyes. God forever changed my life November 13, 2008 and I am forever grateful to Him. This morning has been filled with many tears...happy and sad. I smile every time I think of her opening her eyes. Most chromosomal babies don't open their eyes much...Mary Glenn was different. It was like she knew she wouldn't be here long so she wanted to check us out good. I laugh every time I think of what she thought of us...I think I was crying every time I got to lay eyes on her so she probably thought her mom is a little on the wacky side. I cry every time I think of her suffering for those few minutes before we decided it was time for God to take her home. I smile every time I think that each of us got to hold her free of wires and tubes...and how she went home while I was holding her. I cry because I miss her more than words can express. I smile when I think of how Dr. Henderson prayed with us and we sang Jesus Loves Me.

As I type this I wipe tears away from my face. I can't help it but I want her here with me. I want to see her face to face. I'm selfish. Oh but I know that she is not sick right now and she is dancing and singing God's praises right this very moment. She is having the best birthday that any of us could ever ask for...she is celebrating with our Lord and Savior. I know that Mary Glenn would not want me to be sad this day...so I will try my best to be strong for my baby girl. I often feel guilty when I feel these times of sadness...because I know I shouldn't. I should be so proud that she is in Heaven...the most beautiful place...with a healthy body...no sickness...no tears...learning about her grandparents...and celebrating with God.

As I think over the year...God has done so many amazing things in my life. First and foremost He has brought me closer to Him. I am learning each and every day more and more...and it will always be a learning process, but I have grown so close to our Lord and Savior and I am forever grateful. He has made Shea and I stronger. Shea is truly a man of God. To have watched him grow over the last year is so wonderful. He is my best friend and my husband and I love him so much. He has blessed our family. When life gives us trials to face you really see the people that mean most to you. Our families have been there for us every step of the way. God has given me such wonderful friends. Friends that care about me...my feelings and emotions. He has blessed us with a pregnancy. Baby Morris will never know his sister in this time, but I pray that Shea and I can tell him one day about how wonderful she was...how strong of person she was...and how she changed our lives for the better. So many more things that I could go on and on about...but right now my heart is too sad to gone on.

As I look back on November 14, 2008 I am forever grateful that I got to tell my sweet Mary Glenn...THANK YOU! God let me give birth to the most precious angel. WOW!!! I remember me telling her all things I wanted to say...God gave me that opportunity. We were not suppose to have one minute with her on this Earth and instead He gave us 20 hours! God is good! I love you all and I thank each and everyone of you for helping us through such trying times.

Blessed be this day that the Lord has made...let us be glad and rejoice in it!

Praising God!
Bethany