A Blessing

I have thought several times how I would post my first blog since the birth and passing of our precious baby girl, Mary Glenn McNease. I think Shea's post Sunday was absolutely wonderful and beautiful. I am married to such an amazing man. God chose Shea to be my partner in my life and for this I am so very thankful. I can't imagine going through this with someone other than Shea. God planned our life out together long before we met and he planned us to be the parents of Mary Glenn...God blessed us with an angel. Of course we will grieve only because we are human, but we will also rejoice in the fact that Mary Glenn is home with our Heavenly Father.

When I went to the doctor Thursday and learned that our child would be born that night I prayed so hard that God's will be done. We didn't know what we were looking at but I did know doctors were worried about the outcome. Mary Glenn was born at 5:05 p.m. on November 13, 2008...weighing in at 1 lb. 5 ozs. and 11 1/2" long. She came out whimpering and crying some. Dr. Henderson and his team did a great job in caring for her small body. After surgery Dr. Henderson explained she may have some heart problems and be a Trisonomy 18 (T18) baby due to certain markers on her little body. At first the heart problem scared us more than the T18 mainly because this meant our baby would have to go to Jackson for treatment and Shea and I would be broken apart. When they first wheeled me to the NICU to see Mary Glenn...Dr. Henderson told us her heart was fine and no need in Jackson...a prayer answered. I got to touch her this night...tell her that I loved her...and take sweet pictures of her.

Friday morning we (mom, Shea, and I) got to spend some time with her again...she was under the light with her sunglasses on...just laying there. We were able to "hold" her for a tiny bit. "Holding" her is not actually picking her up but putting our hands around her small body. I must say that when Shea did this her stats went up...she was a daddy's girl!!! Then around 1:45 Friday afternoon Dr. Henderson came to give us the news that I believe Shea knew may have been coming. Dr. Henderson let us know that we were losing her and we needed to get down to the NICU immediately. Mary Glenn's lungs were giving out and we knew it was time for her to go home. Because Mary Glenn's heart was strong we had 45 unbelievable moments with her that I will always remember. We got to hold her and love on her...I mean actually hold her...free from tubes and wires!!! I will always remember her brown eyes staring back at me just looking at her mother...what a blessing. I was able to tell her how much I loved her, but most importantly I got to tell Mary Glenn...THANK YOU! This was very important to me. Mary Glenn was a gift from God. She has changed me in so many ways. She has made me a better person...she has brought me closer to our Lord...she has made my relationship with her daddy stronger...she has brought others closer to the Lord...and has strengthen our prayer life! As Shea posted in his blog...Mary Glenn accomplished more on this earth in those few hours then I have in my entire life. She was on a mission...she accomplished her mission...and went home. Shea and I were not suppose to have one minute with our angel and we had a day with her...how awesome! While she took her last breaths we all sang Jesus Loves Me to her and then at 2:36 p.m. on November 14, 2008 she went to be with our Lord and Savior.

We did find out that the intital test did show that Mary Glenn had T18. We will learn more in the weeks to come on the blood results. T18 is a fatal diagnosis. Some babies will live for up to a year, but the percentages are much higher for the baby to only live for a few days. We did learn afterwards that because T18 is fatal that we would have had to make very hard decisions on our baby's life. Mary Glenn knew how hard this would be on her mother and daddy so she went on her own time. AMEN!

Yesterday, Monday, November 17, 2008 we buried our baby girl. This was not in my plan but in God's plan. Words can not express the emotions that entered my body yesterday. I will say that when we were planning out the arrangements we thought at one time to make the service private. After talking Shea and I decided that we had so many people that helped us through this journey and it felt right to allow others to celebrate her life. Shea and I were amazed and so grateful for everyone that came to the service yesterday. It was such a testimony of Mary Glenn. She may not have been that big in size but her impact was so big. AMEN! We prayed over and over that we use Mary Glenn to glorify His name. We will continue to do so. We will continue to pray for God's will to be done.

In closing this post we do not know what the future holds for us, but we do know that we must move on and face the challenges ahead on a day to day basis. I thank everyone for their support on our journey. I ask for continued prayers for Shea and I and our future. We are overwhelmed by the support of our friends and family! We will never be able to thank you enough!

In His Words,
Bethany