Still no pictures and I apologize. We have had a busy weekend and I need Shea to help me out with which pictures to post and how. He absolutely hates our profile picture so that will change soon. I began to look for a recent picture of us two but couldn't find any...that's so sad! The picture in our profile is at my dear friend Ashley's wedding back in February!!! I also want to post ultrasound pictures but they have to be scanned in and that is way over my head.

I did some shopping yesterday. The plan was to buy for other people as I had several gifts to buy...but that never works. My pregnant co-workers and friends, Jessica and Tammy, went to the Henn's Nest to browse. Well we noticed one rack in the back that said maternity clothes 75% OFF!!! There is no way you can pass a deal like that up so we tried on just about everything in our sizes...hahaha! I got some really good deals so if there is anyone out there in need of some maternity clothes I highly suggest for you to stop by there. The Henn's Nest will no longer carry maternity clothes and she is getting rid of her stock. GOOD DEALS!!! Last night Shea and I brought back old times and played cards with Shea's mom and her friends. I say old times because when Shea and I were dating all of his mom's friends taught me how to play cards. Let me tell you when I say play cards these people mean business. I am by no means good...but we have a BLAST! When we lived in Bassfield we played cards EVERY weekend and Shea and I haven't played in a long time. We had a lot of fun...laughed A LOT...and unfortunately the ladies lost every game. Tommy Bass got a big kick out of it though so I am glad I could make him feel good!

This morning we went to Sunday school and church. I have spent the day at the house and actually about to turn in for night. It's 9:00 and getting close to my bedtime!

Before I say goodnight I must tell special friends congratulations on the birth of their son. During this journey Shea and I have talked with many people...some new faces and some old. We have been fortunate to have met Rachel and Chip Wall. Rachel and Chip are such sweet people and also followers of Jesus Christ. They have been so helpful since we found out the news of Mary Glenn. Shea and I will be forever grateful to them and we look forward to our friendship in the future! Rachel, Chip and their daughter Zaidee welcomed Samuel "Sam" Streeter Wall into their family last Wednesday. Congratulations! We hope to see you soon!

Keep Praying! We are so thankful for the love, support, and prayers from our friends and family.

In His Words,
Bethany

25 Weeks and 5 Days

Well I couldn't go two weeks without seeing my dear friend Krystal so Shea and I went to visit her this afternoon. It just so happened that she wanted to do an ultrasound and see Mary Glenn!! As most of you know me by now I am exaggerating the truth a little. I do have a wonderful friend named Krystal but it was me that bothered her today for the ultrasound. I just couldn't stand not seeing Mary Glenn and Krystal!!! I have decided that Dr. Benton needs to let Krystal have October 6th off so she can travel to Jackson with Shea and I. Everything just seems better when Krystal is with me! I also found out today that Krystal checks the blog...so Shea and I told her she was a blog celebrity! Maybe one day she will let me take a picture of her so you guys can put a face with the name. Now for the details: Everything checked out good. Mary Glenn is right on track...still only four weeks behind in development. She weighed in at 15 ounces!!! YOU GO GIRL!!! There seemed to be a lot more amniotic fluid today and she had turned another flip for us! Shea and I are so thankful to our Lord and Savior. He has brought us this far and changed us forever! He is the only one that knows the future outcome of Mary Glenn but my trust is definitely in Him! We have seen Him work with our baby and we know He has complete control!!! What a wonderful feeling!

Please continue to pray for our visit October 6th! I am so anxious for that day to get here and get the diagnosis! I pray that God is preparing our hearts for what Dr. Perry will have to say. I have two steroid shots next week, glucose test, ultraound, and doctor visit...please pray for positive results!!! I hear that the glucose test is pretty rough but if you don't pass the first one that the second one is even worse!

I will check in with you guys later! Hope you all are doing well!

In His Love,
Bethany

A Fun Weekend

First things first...Congratulations to our friends Shay and Rob Tatum on the birth of their second daughter Rhodes (big sister is Addison) and also to Julie and Corey Tator and the birth of their second child Olivia (big brother is Ethan). We hope you all are doing well and hope to meet the new additions soon!

Shea and I had a very enjoyable weekend. Friday night we spent time with our Sunday school class at Daniel and Lucy Jussley's house. It was nice to relax and visit with friends. Afterwards I went and met up with friends Jamie, Katie and Susan. It is always so much fun hanging out with friends...we remembered old times. I know the people around us thought we were absolutely crazy!!!

Saturday was the Tri Delta reunion for the Phi Epsilon chapter at USM. It was so wonderful seeing everyone. It had been a long time. We got to visit the new sorority house which was absolutely gorgeous!!! In saying that our times at Panhell will always be remembered! It began raining at game time so Shea and I left and took the easy way out and watched the Golden Eagles lose to Marshall on tv. In fact, we watched all in state universities lose Saturday...YUCK! Saturday night we spent time with our friends and neighbors Brandi and Tony...atleast we got to watch Tony's Tigers (LSU) win!!!

Sunday was a day to praise our Lord! We had a great sermon...one of those sermons you feel like is being spoken directly to you and no one else. I would like to thank Dr. Paul Long for his message.

As far as baby Mary Glenn not much has changed. I have felt her move on occasions...nothing consistent...but it is still reassuring. Shea and I try and wait patiently for October 6th. I try not to think about what the visit may reveal to us but it is extremely hard to think about anything else. There are so many "what ifs" and I am ready to get some things answered. I know that only one person knows the real answer though and I will focus on His word. God is good!!! He gives me the strength each day to get up and get through each day. I am very thankful to call Him my Lord and Savior.

Thanks again for all of the thoughts and prayers. The power of prayer is such an awesome thing!!! Please pray for our visit on October 6th: pray for Dr. Perry as he gives us a diagnosis, for Shea and I that we can have complete peace of his diagnosis, for Mary Glenn and her health, for our family and friends, for the nurses that will assist Dr. Perry, and everyone invovled to understand the importance of using Mary Glenn to glorifying Him! As always continue to pray for God's will. God has given Shea and I so many things and has changed our lives forever since August 20th! PRAISE HIM!!!

I hope to learn how to post pictures soon. I am slowly learning how to blog!

In His Love,
Bethany

Quick Update

I promise to post more details this weekend but for now I will give a quick update on our doctor visit from yesterday.

The ultrasound went well...Mary Glenn has grown another week...so we are still 4 weeks behind in growth. She didn't gain any more ounces but did gain some grams...this is normal and not to worry. For a 21 week old baby she is right on track in her weight. We didn't discuss much with Dr. Benton. He stressed to us that the appointment with Dr. Perry on October 6th is VERY CRITICAL and IMPORTANT. Dr. Perry will be able to look over the baby from head to toe specifically looking for birth defects and any chromosomal disorders. After this appointment we will know more about delivery.

Shea and I ask that everyone begin praying for us and Dr. Perry for our October 6th visit. We pray that Mary Glenn is healthy and only just a small baby, but also that God grant us peace for whatever His will may be. Continue to pray for strength, wisdom, guidance, and peace for everyone involved and that God prepare our hearts for the future. Mary Glenn has the high chance of having many problems...we just pray that Shea, our families, and I are ready for what is to come.

A special note to Dr. Benton and Krystal...you guys are so wonderful and Shea and I are very thankful that God brought you into our lives.

In His Love,
Bethany

Encouraged

I am continually amazed. Amazed at how insignificant I feel when God shows me his mighty hand. I feel inspired and empowered, but very, very small. He is such an awesome God. So, many things have come into my life because of the grace of God. Bethany and I are blessed with so many friends and family, that many people are amazed. I don't see how we would make it without you.

The Lord Our God has seen fit to comfort Bethany and I this week with a very positive Dr.'s visit. There is tremendously more fluid around the baby. So much so that she had flipped upside down in the womb. She was moving her legs and arms and the measurements continue to show interval growth. We got to bring home a DVD of her today and have just about burned a hole through it. We really need your prayers for our Oct. 6 visit with the specialist, Dr. Perry, in Jackson. It will be critical in determining if there are any defects or markers for defects. Mary Glenn is still about 3 to 4 weeks behind Bethany in gestation.

In the coming weeks, Bethany will begin taking steroid shots to help expedite Mary Glenn's lung development. She will also begin fetal assessments to monitor the baby's vital signs and other distress markers. This is unchartered territory for us, so everyone say an extra prayer for strength and faith as we navigate this course.

It is very hard for me to contain my excitement. I try to guard my heart, but I can't get past the fact that we are not supposed (by medical theory) to be here or experiencing these things. God has revealed himself to Bethany and I in a mighty way, but we must still seek his purpose. I have prayed since finding out I would be a daddy for the Lord to give us a healty baby, if it was His will. And that if it wasn't His will to give me the faith and strength to accept it. He held up his end of the deal. He gave me that strength. He revealed parts of His will to me. So, this has already been a miracle. No matter the outcome. So, it is my job to continue to seek God's holy purpose and see that His will is done. If you are reading this and you don't know the peace that only Jesus Christ can give, I urge you to seek that peace. No matter what our world of humanism, Oprahism, and modern science says, God is real. He answers the prayers of His people. He is a God of love, but also a just God of wrath. So I beckon you to submit your life to Him.

Please continue to pray for Bethany, Mary Glenn and I. And also for our families, friends, our pastors and church as they minister to us. If you have prayed for us in the past, I want you to know that your prayers have been heard by God, felt by us and caused many miracles to occur. Thank all of you, but most of all praise be to God.

In His Grace,
Shea Mc

Quick Update

Hello to All:

I apologize for not blogging more frequently but we really haven't had any changes since last Friday. Shea and I enjoyed a relaxing weekend at home...spending time together and watching college football. Our Golden Eagles won and beat Arkansas State but the MS State Bulldogs couldn't pull it off in a game against the ranked tigers of Auburn. Sunday after church we celebrated our niece's 8th birthday! Shea's brother Marty and our nephew Lance were home from Texas due to Hurricane Ike so we enjoyed visiting with them!

The work week has been busy for both of us. I personally like it this way because it keeps my mind going in different directions and not strictly focused on the baby. But I would be telling a lie if I didn't say that most of time I am thinking about Mary Glenn. Is she moving? Has she grown? Does she still have a heartbeat? Why can't I feel her move? Are her kidneys functioning? The list can go on and on. I worry constantly and just pray that God can continue to give me peace. Most of you know that I plan things out...but right now God is making my plans and I am trying so hard to let go and be patient. I am sure that His plan is much better and bigger than mine!!!

I would like to remind everyone of our doctor's appointment tomorrow...Sept. 18th at 11:00. We will first have an ultrasound and if Mary Glenn still has a heartbeat and is growing we will visit with Dr. Benton. I will be 24 weeks and 5 days tomorrow so I pray that she is 20 weeks and 5 days and still growing!!! Please pray that God give us peace tomorrow no matter the news we will receive. As always pray for God's will to be done. Don't forget to pray for our family who is also on pins and needles every time we go for a visit. Also pray for Dr. Benton, Krystal, and the nurses...they are so awesome and have been there for us 100%!!! I couldn't ask for anything better.

I will post again tomorrow after our visit as long as it is the Lord's will.

In His Wonderful Name,
Bethany

Mary Glenn McNease

Shea and I have been asked if we have decided on a name for our baby girl...the answer is YES! Our little girl will be named Mary Glenn McNease. Mary is my grandmother's name and also Shea mother's name. Glenn is my mother's maiden name and also my middle name.

Well we got to see Mary Glenn today. We were only suppose to check for a heartbeat but Krystal and I couldn't stand it and had to look around a little bit. Things still look like they are progressing. She had a very strong heartbeat...159 beats a minute!!! She has grown another week and gained appx 3 ounces (12 ounces total or 340 grams). Krystal said her head was much rounder this week than last which is a good sign. She has moved down lower in my stomach too. She was resting today when we saw her but she did move her little arm for us. We have about the same or a little more aminiotic fluid than last week which is a good sign that the kidneys are still functioning. After our ultrasound we waited to see Dr. Benton to tell him the good news...he was very encouraged by the way she looked today but also made us realize we still have a LONG way to go.

We are definitely not out of the woods yet so keep those prayers coming!!! Shea and I are very blessed to have everyone praying for us...and I promise you Mary Glenn hears them too! We are going through a lot of ups and downs in life right now and it is reassuring to have friends and family with you during the journey. A friend of mine told me about a song from MercyMe named Bring the Rain. I have posted the lyrics below.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

[1st Chorus]

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing

Holy holy holy
you are holy
you are holy

This song reflects my feelings exactly...whatever it takes to praise God we must do. He has blessed us thus far with Mary Glenn. I pray that her progress continues and she will be a healthy baby upon delivery. But we must pray for His will and use Mary Glenn to glorify His name...now, tomorrow, and forever. HE IS HOLY!!!

Begin praying for our next doctor's appointment in Hattiesburg on Thursday (9/18/08) at 11:00. We will have another ultrasound and then visit with Dr. Benton.

We love you all!
Bethany

Giving In...

Hello to All:

I wanted to make a quick post and ask for special prayers! I couldn't wait any longer and I am going to have an ultrasound tomorrow, Friday, September 12th at 4:15. We will only check for a heartbeat but atleast it will ease my mind on what is going on inside me.

I have felt a little movement from the baby, but the baby is still very small and all her movements I will not be able to feel quite yet. But in saying that when I go a day and haven't felt anything I begin to start worrying...it's just me being human!

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. Shea and I feel them every moment of every day. I will post an update tomorrow night after our appointment...God willing.

Love you all!
Bethany

Connecting The Dots

I have been waiting until I thought the time was right to type this blog. I feel so strongly that the Lord is telling me to do it now, so I will try. Let me apologize in advance for it's length. The goal here is to try and show in words how, in the words of H.G. Spafford (It Is Well With My Soul), my faith has been made sight. I told you in an earlier blog that nothing is random. So let's look at the actual events up to this point and how God's hand has been leading and directing us.

Now it goes without saying that God's hand is in the fact that we each get to live and breathe, so we'll concentrate more on the events of our experience with our baby. I will try to limit these as much as possible and this list is in no way comprehensive:

1. We changed doctors early in this pregnancy. Bethany and I did this for totally selfish reasons and we readily admit it. And that is why it is all the more true that God will accomplish his will even when we don't seek it. I am not slighting our former physician, who is wonderful, and our switch had nothing to do with anything service oriented, medical or religious. I just could not imagine going through these times without Dr. Louis Benton. He is a true man of God, and has ministered to Bethany and I, not only medically, but spiritually. Our God is sovereign and He does what He pleases.

2. On the day we got the terrible news, it appeared that we would have to wait in agony to see the specialist. And then again, when we found out this encouraging news, we were told it would be a week. In both instances, while the appointment was being made there were cancellations which allowed us to see the specialist within 24 hours. I believe God was merciful in both respects to me and my wife and intervened in order to do so.

3. The most obvious example in all of this is that we were told our baby would not survive. We spent two weeks going to the clinic so that Crystal (I think of her as our ultrasound tech.) could check for a heartbeat to see if it was time to deliver our stillborn child. This last Thursday, Bethany called me and asked if she should pack a bag in case we had to stay in the hospital. I told her yes, because we both felt like there would not be a heartbeat. We had been praying for the Lord to be merciful, and end our baby's suffering if it was his will. Well, as you know, it wasn't. Our baby was still alive, not only that it had grown, produced amniotic fluid, and has kidney's and a bladder. I don't think this needs any theological explanation.

4. The part of the story that is not known is what I am about to tell you. It is very personal, but I feel like it is the greatest example of God's leading hand and the power of prayer. Upon hearing the news that our child would not survive, we were presented with three options. The first was wait and see if the heart continues to beat until term and deliver a child without lungs. This was statistically the least likely. Second, wait until the heart stopped and deliver a stillborn child. An option all the physicians felt was very likely and short term. And last, terminate the pregnancy by evacuating the uterus. This is medically called a therapeutic intervention. At first, we had no idea what to do. Personally, I did not want my precious wife to suffer or be stigmatized by waiting for our baby to die. Yet, I didn't know how to view a therapeutic intervention from a Christian standpoint. After council with pastors, family and doctors we turned to prayer. And asked for guidance and that God's will be revealed to us. After earnestly seeking the Lord we both emerged with the peace that we could wait on the Lord. We chose to carry the baby and for the next two week awaited the inevitable death of our child. As you know that is not what has happened and God has seen fit to intervene and bless us once again.

I do not know what the outcome of this journey will be. Our baby could be born a little on the small side and healthy, it could have a chromosomal abnormality, or it could expire as I type this. No matter the outcome, it has been miraculous in my life, my wife's life and in our marriage. I have been able to experience the gracious, beautiful hand of the master sculpting me, a formless piece of clay. And I have developed a love for my wife that surpasses the false and phony ideals of Hollywood and society in general. It is a love that is unconditional and Christ based.

As I stated before, I apologize for the length of this post. Keep in mind also that these are just a few of the examples we have seen in the past weeks of God's sovereignty and righteousness.

In His Grace,
Shea Mc

Cautiously Optimistic

Wow...what a last few days. A day of thanksgiving! A day to glorify our God! Someone described our past two weeks like a roller coaster that we can't get off. That is correct but to be honest I am not sure God is ready for us to finish the ride...I believe He has a lot more in store for us. We feel lucky that he has chosen us to take on this situation...we prepare more and more each day...but I don't think we will ever be fully prepared...we are only human.

We went to see the specialist yesterday, Dr. Ken Perry. He is another great doctor. The Lord has blessed us with amazing and talented doctors. So for the details...There is more amniotic fluid than two weeks ago which is a good sign. There is a bladder! We (no medical background) saw one kidney, but Dr. Perry believes there are two. Because we are not at a normal stage of amniotic fluid it is still hard to see everything but we see things more clearly than before. In two weeks the baby has grown two weeks. Yippee!! That is really good news. But the baby is also still 4 weeks behind in development. Right now I am 23 weeks and the baby is measuring 19 weeks. The doctor did find two factors that are VERY common in a pregnancy yet they are also factors in chromosomal disorders. In saying that Shea and I do not have a history of these disorders and I am still young in the doctor's eyes which is good. BUT there is always a possibility. To be honest with you all I am trying not to focus on that news...but trying to stay level headed. Our baby is by no means "out of the woods", but we do have more hope than we did two weeks ago.

So our first question was..."what now?". We will see Dr. Benton in Hattiesburg in two weeks...September 18th at 11:00. At this visit we will have another ultrasound and then visit with Dr. Benton. This ultrasound is VERY important. If things are moving on track we should have grown another two weeks and there should be more amniotic fluid...so begin praying! Then we will visit with Dr. Perry two weeks after we see Dr. Benton for another ultrasound. The visit with Dr. Perry is October 6th at 11:00. If things are still progressing we will begin doing fetal assessments around 28 weeks making sure that our baby girl is not in distress. Why 28 weeks??? Well the baby still has a chance of survival outside the womb at 28 weeks. In a normal pregnancy the baby could maybe survive around 24 weeks outside the womb...but as we all know...my pregnancy is by no means normal. If we can make it to 34 weeks then we have even a better chance of survival outside the womb. In a perfect world I would be able to carry the baby much longer and if the baby is okay inside the womb then I feel the doctors will wait until she is ready...but this is a long way away and we still have a steep hill to climb.

A lot of questions have been asked over the past two days so I will try to explain some of the more popular questions...
Maybe your dates are wrong? This is not true. We are 23 weeks. Shea and I had an ultrasound at 5 weeks and the baby measured 5 weeks and then another at 7 weeks to make sure we were growing like normal and we measured 7 weeks.
Will the baby catch up inside the womb? No. We are already under the normal curve. We are four weeks behind...but what we want is for us to stay only 4 weeks behind and NOT lose any ground.
What about the baby's organs? The baby's organs do have a chance to mature and be "normal". We will continue to monitor them on a bi-weekly basis.
Will we deliver a "normal" baby? Our baby will never be a 7 lb baby. We do know that we need our baby to be atleast 1 lb at birth...but of course we would like for it to weigh much more.

So basically we now WAIT!!! As you all know I DO NOT like this word. The good Lord knows that WAIT and PATIENCE are not my best qualities. I believe that is why HE is making me learn more about these two words. I am trying so very hard to be patient...but two weeks is a LONG time in my eyes. I wish I could continually monitor her and watch it day by day but that is not in God's plans. Shea and I need more prayers now than ever. Prayers are so important...just ask us and our baby girl.
Specific Prayer Requests:
- For God's will to be done - We are only human and of course we want you all to pray for continued progress and a healthy baby but also we must understand that this may not be His will
- To prepare our family for God's will - There are so many things that can happen now, the baby may not survive, the baby may be VERY premature, the baby could have chromosomal disorders, the baby may be premature but healthy
- Strength, guidance, and wisdom for Shea and I
- Patience for myself
- Our baby girl - We all know she is definitely a fighter, we just want her to stay healthy
- Blessings to our Lord and Savior and that Shea and I use this baby to glorify Him

As most of you can probably tell I give more details and Shea gives more analytical views...I am an accountant and he is an engineer...what else do I have to say. I am sure Shea will post later. I will be checking in later also and WAITING and PRAYING!!! We love you all and hopefully good news will continue.

A friend gave us these two verses yesterday:

Lamentations 3:22-23: "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness."

Psalm 120:1: "In my distress I cried to the Lord, and He heard me."

In His loving word,
Bethany

Curveballs

I could never hit a curveball! I remember the first one I ever saw. I was playing Little League in Prentiss, MS. The team was called the Braves and we essentially were mediocre at best. Actually, we were probably the most mismatched group of misfits in the league. I remember going to bat against the Tigers, who were the best team in the league. The pitcher was in 5th grade, which was huge to a 3rd grader like me. When he let'er fly, the ball didn't come straight like in practice. It's gonna hit me in the head, I thought. The ball went nuts! It did not hit my head, but instead fell perfectly in the strike zone. The sound of Mr. Richard Ward's voice (the umpire) rang out STRIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKE!!!!, as I got up from the fetal position and tried to stand back in the box.

The last two weeks of my life have felt like that. Every pitch has been a curve ball. There is a difference now though. The pitcher is also my coach. Did I lose you? See God has been pitching life at me and, for the most part, has thrown me fastballs. In retrospect, and consideration of the last two weeks, He has allowed me to play tee ball! Yet, He is also coaching me. Teaching me to time the pitch, to wait on his will. Now let me tell you, He has a crazy change-up. And Bethany and I saw it today.

If you haven't seen Bet's blog you should check it out. She is more detail oriented. On the ultrasound today there was more amniotic fluid than before, we found the bladder and renal arteries, which were not evident on past ultrasounds. The baby has grown two weeks in the last two weeks and has gained one ounce in the last six days. This is awesome, but we need to guard our hearts. We will go to the specialist tomorrow in Jackson and see what is going on. We ask that everyone pray for God's will to be done. I don't want to throw the word miracle around about this just yet. That may not be what God is doing. So we wait. There have been so many miracles in this process that it is unreal. As it should be.

You know, I still can't hit a curveball. But with the coaching of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I seem to hit a lot more of life's curveballs. And occasionally get one out of the park.

I want to leave you with some verses I have been studying, that have let me know that Christ is the greatest coach of all time. He has the perfect gameplan. His is and always will be undefeated. If He picks you for His team, I suggest you join. No matter how bad you are, he can always use you. He took me, and I can't hit a curveball!

Proverbs 19:21 - There are many plans in a man's heart, Nevertheless the Lord's counsel - that will stand.

Proverbs 21:30 - There is no wisdom or understanding or counsel against the Lord.

Job 42:2 - I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.

Ephesians 1:11 - In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things, according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.

In His Grace,
Shea Mc

IT'S A GIRL!!!

GOD is in control! Peter 1: 5-7 : "...who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,..."

As posted last night Shea and I went for an ultrasound today at 4:15. Before I begin this post I must let you all know that I was prepared today for God to take our baby. All day long I had a feeling that today might be the day. I felt this way so much that I even packed a bag for the hospital! As we began our ultrasound today, with Crystal, we found the heartbeat instantly. It was so clear. In fact the baby looked so much different to me today compared to last Friday that I even said something to Crystal.

Well then Crystal began to look around a little more...she started asking questions about our visit in Jackson two weeks ago. Her face changed instantly and she asked us if a bladder was evident in Jackson. We told her that the doctor did not think there was one, but if there was a bladder and kidney it was blended in with other parts of the baby. Well today was a little different. There seems to be more amniotic fluid than before...there seems to be a bladder...there seems to be renal arteries which would hopefully be a sign of kidney activity. In saying that the kidney was NOT found today on the ultrasound. She immediately went to get another ultrasound technician and Dr. Benton. Dr. Benton and the two technicians looked everything over and he feels there is a need for us to go back to Jackson to see the specialist again, Dr. Ken Perry. The baby moved around today, before it didn't move. Crystal was able to see lots of areas of the baby that were so unclear to us before. Crystal looked at me and smiled...IT'S A GIRL!!!! How precious is our God??? Shea, Crystal, Dr. Benton, and I prayed for awhile and then we all looked at each other in shock. No one can tell us what is going on and there are no explanations.

Now with all of this being said...there is still something wrong with our baby girl. She is still a little over 3 weeks behind in development...but she has grown appx 2 weeks since we found out the news. We were not expecting her to grow much more. Only God knows what is in store and what will happen next. Shea and I are not going to get our hopes up but we stand in awe of God and how He is working in our lives.

We ask for everyone to pray for God's will. Ever since we prayed with Knox Baird (our pastor at First Presbyterian Church) I have asked for God's will to be done. Shea and I aren't sure why God chose us to battle this situation but we DO NOT question him. We continue to be thankful for our baby. We will continue to glorify His name. Today he allowed us to see our baby girl...maybe this was His will...we do not know but we are THANKFUL for Him. Please pray for us as we go tomorrow at 8:00 in the morning to see Dr. Perry for another visit and another look at our precious baby.

Here are some things we would like for you all to pray:

- For God's will to be done
- For Dr. Perry (When Dr. Benton told him what was going on today he told him..."Louis I am not sure who all is praying for them but please tell them to pray for me!!"
- For our precious baby girl
- For Shea and I (strength, guidance, wisdom, peace no matter the outcome)
- That this baby be used to glorify our God and bring others to know Him
- For Dr. Benton and our wonderful ultrasound technician Crystal

Philippians 4:6 - "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."

Prayer for Peace
"Father, how thankful we are for Your love, that You love us enough to care for us when we can't care for ourselves. Sometimes little things that we ought to be able to handle, we can't. But You've made an awesome promise, and all heaven stands behind it. Grant us the wisdom to live in a peace that passes all human understanding. Keep and guard our hearts in Christ Jesus through every trail in life. We ask this in the name of Jesus and for His sake. Amen."

We love you all. I am sure Shea will post later tonight too so make sure you check out his blog. Thanks again for your continued support and prayers. Prayers are so powerful and God listens!

In His Love,
Bethany

Nothing Is Random

Hello to all, I am Shea McNease. I have been introduced in earlier blogs by the best half of this household, my wife Bethany. She has amazed me through this whole ordeal and our marriage has changed and become enriched through the grace of God. I wanted to take this opportunity to randomly say that nothing is random. It is my hope, that one day, I can string all the events that have lead up to now to show everyone out there how consistent they are. It seems that everyday I take a trip back in further and further in time to see a person, event or an insignificant (at the time) decision that brought me to the point I am at tonight. Feebley seeking the will of God and anxiously waiting for His mercy. I have tried to tell people that have lead me by example that they did God's will in my life. It is daunting to think about how far back the preparation for this event in my life has gone. Probably, as far back as Sunday School as a kid or VBS in the summers.



This all culminates in me knowing that God is sovereign. The ultrasound that was performed on our baby on August 20 caught everyone, including the super sweet ultrasound tech, off guard. I can tell you this for sure, it did not catch God off guard. And that is comforting. To know that I have a Savior that is all knowing and that all things work together for His good purpose.



Many people have said to Bethany and I that they have been amazed by our reaction to this devastating series of events. I can not say this often enough, it has nothing to do with us. God's grace is the only reason we turned to God. If not for His grace, we could have just as easily cursed Him or blamed Him. This is because we are weak, temporal and depraved beings. But praise be to God that He had preordained, before the foundation of the world, that we would praise Him and glorify Him even in this valley.



I have decided that in my life I am through taking chances. I don't have to take them. I have a direct line to the throne of God, through His Son, Jesus Christ. It is called prayer. And because of all that has happened I have learned to "Be still and know that He is God..." God will reveal His will when He sees fit, not when we want Him to do so. Yet, without an active prayer life, I don't think we can fully know the revelation of His will. What a comfort to know that nothing is to chance. Everything is ordained by the author and the finisher of the universe. It is my job to seek His bountiful purpose in my life and to see that I carry out His will.



I'll finish with this. Please pray for Bethany and myself. For Bethany, that she will have strength and patience to see that God's will is done. For me, the same, but also that I might minister to her daily because in the end, I am a man. And I can never know what she is feeling or the bonds that she has. Prayer is real and God answers them. Because of those praying for us, we have been able to make it thus far and we are eternally grateful.



In His Grace,

Shea Mc

Waiting on God

As I type tonight I feel the need to let you all know that I am in need of prayers. When we began this journey two weeks ago today. I asked God for Shea and I to do His will. Then as Shea and I decided to let God perform His work on us and wait for his timing with our child I began to pray for God's quick mercy. The waiting part is not as easy as it is said. I am struggling in the patience department. But as I wait I am thankful that God is with me. This morning as I was reading the book I spoke about earlier...God is in Control...I read about God's comfort. This book reminded me that God is continuously our comfort. His comfort is available at all times and in all parts of our walk with Him. That is very exciting!!! I quote from the book: "I wonder how many times have you said to the Lord, "Dear Lord, I want You to use me. I don't want a lot of pain in my life, but I'm willing to be used." Sorry, God does not work that way. If you want to be used by God, get ready to hurt. If you want to be a comforter, then get ready to suffer. If you want to be someone who can really encourage others, then you must be a person who's walked through the valley of discouragement, surround by hurt, suffering, and loss. God is equipping you and me to be vessels of love, healing, and restoration to a world of people filled with pain, hate, and fear."


Also during this journey I have told many that Shea and I want to use our child to glorify Him. I have also stated that we are thankful for this child and the way that God has chosen it to change our lives. I am a different person that I was two weeks ago before I found out about our baby's illness, but I am a better person. My life changed in an instant but it changed for the better. I have never been this close to God. I have never wanted to know Him better like I do now. I am eager to learn His word. That is comforting to me. If I have to suffer during this valley to become this better person then it is well worth it.

Shea and I go for another ultrasound tomorrow at 4:15. Please say a special prayer for us at this time. We ask that God to give us strength during the day as we prepare to go for this visit. We ask for God to prepare us for the results of the ultrasound and for us to understand whatever the results may be that God will be with us as we wait on His timing. Also, please ask God to give me patience during this "waiting" period in our life.



With His Love,

Bethany

Our Story

To all of you who do not know us our names are Shea and Bethany McNease. We have been married for almost 3 1/2 years. We live in Sumrall, MS with our two dogs, Lily (a black lab) and Marley (a pocket beagle). Shea is a graduate of Mississippi State University in civil engineering and is now a partner at Shows Dearman and Waits Civil Engineer firm in Hattiesburg, MS. I (Bethany) am a graduate of the University of Southern Mississippi in accounting with a master's degree in business administration from William Carey College and now I am a controller for M.G. Dyess, Inc. in Bassfield, MS.





Just a little background...Shea and I love life and love doing just about anything. We are surrounded by wonderful family and friends. Both of our families are from around the area so we enjoy doing things with them...ALOT! Shea loves to hunt and fish. In fact as I am typing this blog Shea and my father are trying to dove hunt as Hurricane Gustav is on his way for a visit!!! In the next couple of months Shea will enjoy duck hunting in the mornings and deer hunting in the afternoons! During the summers we spend some time at my family's fishing camp in Gautier, MS. I love to hunt and fish too...just not as much as my husband...haha! I love to play tennis too...but haven't played since May. I am ready to get back on the courts soon! I think most people would classify Shea and I as fun people. We love to try new adventures and our favorite vacation spot would have to be Disney World. We went there on our honeymoon!





In April 2008 Shea and I found out that we were expecting our first baby. How exciting! We have been overcome with emotions since that point...excited...nervous...worried...anxious...! I am 22 1/2 weeks along in the pregnancy to date. Now for the news that we have faced the past two weeks.





Shea and I, along with our mothers, went for our 20 week ultrasound, Wednesday, August 20th. As I lay down for the ultrasound technician to began I was so excited to be finding out the sex of our baby. When she began we knew instantly that something wasn't right. You could tell in her voice and then the questions began...have you lost amniotic fluid...are you scheduled to see your doctor...when was your last ultrasound...etc??? She took lots of pictures and told us something was not right with our pregnancy...the baby doesn't have much amniotic fluid which was making it hard to see the baby. She informed us that the baby measured 16 1/2 weeks to 17 weeks (almost 4 weeks behind schedule) and we would need to see the doctor ASAP. I lay there in total shock...I didn't know what to expect or what was going to happen. Our doctor, Dr. Louis Benton, was in emergency surgery but another doctor would see us to explain the diagnosis. It didn't seem that our baby had developed kidneys. The kidneys produce amniotic fluid which aide in the development of the lungs. With no amniotic fluid...there isn't anything there to help develop the lungs so in the end your baby can not breathe. This doctor gave us little to no hope. I asked that I see my doctor before any decisions were made. Thankfully Dr. Benton was on his way. Let me pause here and let everyone know that Dr. Benton is not only an awesome doctor but an unbelievable man...a man of God. He comes in and HIGHLY recommends us to go to a specialist in Jackson. He didn't believe there was much hope either but alteast we may get some questions answered on why this has occurred. After praying with my family Dr. Benton sent us to Jackson to meet with Dr. Perry at 2:00 that day.





Shea and I along with my mother and father and Shea's mother went to Jackson. Dr. Perry was extremely informative and took a lot of time to explain all of this to Shea and I. The diagnosis was the same. The baby did not have kidneys or a bladder. There could be several reasons for this to occur. This could be genetic, chromosomal, or just a birth defect. We were hoping to do an amniocentesis but there was not enough amniotic fluid to do one. The doctor explained to us that the baby could live until birth. If so the baby would only survive for hours. This was the least likely thing to happen. He went on to let us know that in most cases the baby will only live for a few more weeks. The baby's heart will stop and then I would deliver a still born child. WOW! I was not prepared for this at all! I was prepared to find out the sex of our child and start shopping, but God had a different plan for us...a much bigger plan!





In the next days Shea and I spent time talking with our pastors, doctors, and reading scripture. After a long talk with Dr. Benton we decided that our situation was in God's hands. We needed to let God decide what was best for us. From the beginning I had asked for everyone to pray for God's will. I asked for God to shout His will to Shea and I. We learned a lot about ourselves in these few days. We learned about God. Shea and I both are Christians, but we knew we lacked in a few areas of our life with Him. In fact in the previous months God had already started working on Shea and I preparing us for this day. We are so thankful for Him. We have realized that we are totally dependent on Him. I am reading a book titled God is in Control by Charles Stanley that explains that God sometimes will send us into a valley...especially when He feels we need it most...and remind us that He is real. Here is a quote from the book: "God knows how to wrench from us everything we depend upon. That's really what He's up to in the valley experience. His ultimate purpose is to remove from us - emotionally, physically or materially - every single, solitary thing so that Jesus Christ has no competition as Lord in our life. Then there are no challenges to His rule, His reign, and His lordship in our life." Since the day this happened I have told several people that God has placed upon me a peace that I can not describe. The peace came over me instantly that day. Please don't get me wrong...Shea and I have had our moments and I think if we didn't we wouldn't be considered human...but if it weren't for our Lord we would not be able to get out of bed each morning. I have learned a lot about God's peace the past two weeks. I am going to give another quote from the book I am reading. The book was describing two types of peace...Peace with God and Peace of God. I had known Peace with God but until this tragedy I had never felt the peace of God. The peace of God is the peace I was talking about earlier. The book says, "But after you and I become children of God, we still have to live in this world full of anxieties and fears and frustrations. The Bible talks about the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding. This peace that God gives is a peace that is not determined by circumstances. The peace of God isn't something that you and I are brought into through some change of circumstance. Neither is it a matter of chance or of luck. It is a matter of choice. The peace of God dwelling and ruling in our heart and mind in an unshakable fashion is a choice we make. Unshakable peace means that it is steady and strong. It is unflinching and unwavering. No matter what happens, that peace remains and we are confident and steadfast. We are not thrown off balance no matter what we face in life."



Shea and I have made a commitment to ourselves and God that we will use this baby to glorify Him. We do not know why this has happened to us, but we do not question God. We continue to live our life in the eyes of the Lord. We are thankful that God chose us to use our child to spread the word of God and to show others that He is good!!! We do not know what is in store for us but we do know that He will be with us every step of the way! How is awesome is that???



Since the news of the illness of our child we have had several more ultrasounds. As said before we have a wonderful doctor and also ultrasound technician. They allow us to look at the baby anytime we feel need. As of Friday, August 29th the condition of the baby has not changed. It still had a strong heartbeat...156! Shea and I will wait on God's plan. We continually ask for God to show us His will. We pray for guidance, wisdom, and strength through this journey. I will leave for now will the following verses that I have found comforting.



Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."



Romans 8:18 - "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."



Psalm 34:4 - "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."



John 16:33 - "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."



Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."



Psalm 121:7 - "The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul."



Thanks for the prayers. We will continue to keep you posted through our journey.



With Love,

Bethany and Shea