Our Story

To all of you who do not know us our names are Shea and Bethany McNease. We have been married for almost 3 1/2 years. We live in Sumrall, MS with our two dogs, Lily (a black lab) and Marley (a pocket beagle). Shea is a graduate of Mississippi State University in civil engineering and is now a partner at Shows Dearman and Waits Civil Engineer firm in Hattiesburg, MS. I (Bethany) am a graduate of the University of Southern Mississippi in accounting with a master's degree in business administration from William Carey College and now I am a controller for M.G. Dyess, Inc. in Bassfield, MS.





Just a little background...Shea and I love life and love doing just about anything. We are surrounded by wonderful family and friends. Both of our families are from around the area so we enjoy doing things with them...ALOT! Shea loves to hunt and fish. In fact as I am typing this blog Shea and my father are trying to dove hunt as Hurricane Gustav is on his way for a visit!!! In the next couple of months Shea will enjoy duck hunting in the mornings and deer hunting in the afternoons! During the summers we spend some time at my family's fishing camp in Gautier, MS. I love to hunt and fish too...just not as much as my husband...haha! I love to play tennis too...but haven't played since May. I am ready to get back on the courts soon! I think most people would classify Shea and I as fun people. We love to try new adventures and our favorite vacation spot would have to be Disney World. We went there on our honeymoon!





In April 2008 Shea and I found out that we were expecting our first baby. How exciting! We have been overcome with emotions since that point...excited...nervous...worried...anxious...! I am 22 1/2 weeks along in the pregnancy to date. Now for the news that we have faced the past two weeks.





Shea and I, along with our mothers, went for our 20 week ultrasound, Wednesday, August 20th. As I lay down for the ultrasound technician to began I was so excited to be finding out the sex of our baby. When she began we knew instantly that something wasn't right. You could tell in her voice and then the questions began...have you lost amniotic fluid...are you scheduled to see your doctor...when was your last ultrasound...etc??? She took lots of pictures and told us something was not right with our pregnancy...the baby doesn't have much amniotic fluid which was making it hard to see the baby. She informed us that the baby measured 16 1/2 weeks to 17 weeks (almost 4 weeks behind schedule) and we would need to see the doctor ASAP. I lay there in total shock...I didn't know what to expect or what was going to happen. Our doctor, Dr. Louis Benton, was in emergency surgery but another doctor would see us to explain the diagnosis. It didn't seem that our baby had developed kidneys. The kidneys produce amniotic fluid which aide in the development of the lungs. With no amniotic fluid...there isn't anything there to help develop the lungs so in the end your baby can not breathe. This doctor gave us little to no hope. I asked that I see my doctor before any decisions were made. Thankfully Dr. Benton was on his way. Let me pause here and let everyone know that Dr. Benton is not only an awesome doctor but an unbelievable man...a man of God. He comes in and HIGHLY recommends us to go to a specialist in Jackson. He didn't believe there was much hope either but alteast we may get some questions answered on why this has occurred. After praying with my family Dr. Benton sent us to Jackson to meet with Dr. Perry at 2:00 that day.





Shea and I along with my mother and father and Shea's mother went to Jackson. Dr. Perry was extremely informative and took a lot of time to explain all of this to Shea and I. The diagnosis was the same. The baby did not have kidneys or a bladder. There could be several reasons for this to occur. This could be genetic, chromosomal, or just a birth defect. We were hoping to do an amniocentesis but there was not enough amniotic fluid to do one. The doctor explained to us that the baby could live until birth. If so the baby would only survive for hours. This was the least likely thing to happen. He went on to let us know that in most cases the baby will only live for a few more weeks. The baby's heart will stop and then I would deliver a still born child. WOW! I was not prepared for this at all! I was prepared to find out the sex of our child and start shopping, but God had a different plan for us...a much bigger plan!





In the next days Shea and I spent time talking with our pastors, doctors, and reading scripture. After a long talk with Dr. Benton we decided that our situation was in God's hands. We needed to let God decide what was best for us. From the beginning I had asked for everyone to pray for God's will. I asked for God to shout His will to Shea and I. We learned a lot about ourselves in these few days. We learned about God. Shea and I both are Christians, but we knew we lacked in a few areas of our life with Him. In fact in the previous months God had already started working on Shea and I preparing us for this day. We are so thankful for Him. We have realized that we are totally dependent on Him. I am reading a book titled God is in Control by Charles Stanley that explains that God sometimes will send us into a valley...especially when He feels we need it most...and remind us that He is real. Here is a quote from the book: "God knows how to wrench from us everything we depend upon. That's really what He's up to in the valley experience. His ultimate purpose is to remove from us - emotionally, physically or materially - every single, solitary thing so that Jesus Christ has no competition as Lord in our life. Then there are no challenges to His rule, His reign, and His lordship in our life." Since the day this happened I have told several people that God has placed upon me a peace that I can not describe. The peace came over me instantly that day. Please don't get me wrong...Shea and I have had our moments and I think if we didn't we wouldn't be considered human...but if it weren't for our Lord we would not be able to get out of bed each morning. I have learned a lot about God's peace the past two weeks. I am going to give another quote from the book I am reading. The book was describing two types of peace...Peace with God and Peace of God. I had known Peace with God but until this tragedy I had never felt the peace of God. The peace of God is the peace I was talking about earlier. The book says, "But after you and I become children of God, we still have to live in this world full of anxieties and fears and frustrations. The Bible talks about the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding. This peace that God gives is a peace that is not determined by circumstances. The peace of God isn't something that you and I are brought into through some change of circumstance. Neither is it a matter of chance or of luck. It is a matter of choice. The peace of God dwelling and ruling in our heart and mind in an unshakable fashion is a choice we make. Unshakable peace means that it is steady and strong. It is unflinching and unwavering. No matter what happens, that peace remains and we are confident and steadfast. We are not thrown off balance no matter what we face in life."



Shea and I have made a commitment to ourselves and God that we will use this baby to glorify Him. We do not know why this has happened to us, but we do not question God. We continue to live our life in the eyes of the Lord. We are thankful that God chose us to use our child to spread the word of God and to show others that He is good!!! We do not know what is in store for us but we do know that He will be with us every step of the way! How is awesome is that???



Since the news of the illness of our child we have had several more ultrasounds. As said before we have a wonderful doctor and also ultrasound technician. They allow us to look at the baby anytime we feel need. As of Friday, August 29th the condition of the baby has not changed. It still had a strong heartbeat...156! Shea and I will wait on God's plan. We continually ask for God to show us His will. We pray for guidance, wisdom, and strength through this journey. I will leave for now will the following verses that I have found comforting.



Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."



Romans 8:18 - "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."



Psalm 34:4 - "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."



John 16:33 - "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."



Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."



Psalm 121:7 - "The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul."



Thanks for the prayers. We will continue to keep you posted through our journey.



With Love,

Bethany and Shea