Connecting The Dots

I have been waiting until I thought the time was right to type this blog. I feel so strongly that the Lord is telling me to do it now, so I will try. Let me apologize in advance for it's length. The goal here is to try and show in words how, in the words of H.G. Spafford (It Is Well With My Soul), my faith has been made sight. I told you in an earlier blog that nothing is random. So let's look at the actual events up to this point and how God's hand has been leading and directing us.

Now it goes without saying that God's hand is in the fact that we each get to live and breathe, so we'll concentrate more on the events of our experience with our baby. I will try to limit these as much as possible and this list is in no way comprehensive:

1. We changed doctors early in this pregnancy. Bethany and I did this for totally selfish reasons and we readily admit it. And that is why it is all the more true that God will accomplish his will even when we don't seek it. I am not slighting our former physician, who is wonderful, and our switch had nothing to do with anything service oriented, medical or religious. I just could not imagine going through these times without Dr. Louis Benton. He is a true man of God, and has ministered to Bethany and I, not only medically, but spiritually. Our God is sovereign and He does what He pleases.

2. On the day we got the terrible news, it appeared that we would have to wait in agony to see the specialist. And then again, when we found out this encouraging news, we were told it would be a week. In both instances, while the appointment was being made there were cancellations which allowed us to see the specialist within 24 hours. I believe God was merciful in both respects to me and my wife and intervened in order to do so.

3. The most obvious example in all of this is that we were told our baby would not survive. We spent two weeks going to the clinic so that Crystal (I think of her as our ultrasound tech.) could check for a heartbeat to see if it was time to deliver our stillborn child. This last Thursday, Bethany called me and asked if she should pack a bag in case we had to stay in the hospital. I told her yes, because we both felt like there would not be a heartbeat. We had been praying for the Lord to be merciful, and end our baby's suffering if it was his will. Well, as you know, it wasn't. Our baby was still alive, not only that it had grown, produced amniotic fluid, and has kidney's and a bladder. I don't think this needs any theological explanation.

4. The part of the story that is not known is what I am about to tell you. It is very personal, but I feel like it is the greatest example of God's leading hand and the power of prayer. Upon hearing the news that our child would not survive, we were presented with three options. The first was wait and see if the heart continues to beat until term and deliver a child without lungs. This was statistically the least likely. Second, wait until the heart stopped and deliver a stillborn child. An option all the physicians felt was very likely and short term. And last, terminate the pregnancy by evacuating the uterus. This is medically called a therapeutic intervention. At first, we had no idea what to do. Personally, I did not want my precious wife to suffer or be stigmatized by waiting for our baby to die. Yet, I didn't know how to view a therapeutic intervention from a Christian standpoint. After council with pastors, family and doctors we turned to prayer. And asked for guidance and that God's will be revealed to us. After earnestly seeking the Lord we both emerged with the peace that we could wait on the Lord. We chose to carry the baby and for the next two week awaited the inevitable death of our child. As you know that is not what has happened and God has seen fit to intervene and bless us once again.

I do not know what the outcome of this journey will be. Our baby could be born a little on the small side and healthy, it could have a chromosomal abnormality, or it could expire as I type this. No matter the outcome, it has been miraculous in my life, my wife's life and in our marriage. I have been able to experience the gracious, beautiful hand of the master sculpting me, a formless piece of clay. And I have developed a love for my wife that surpasses the false and phony ideals of Hollywood and society in general. It is a love that is unconditional and Christ based.

As I stated before, I apologize for the length of this post. Keep in mind also that these are just a few of the examples we have seen in the past weeks of God's sovereignty and righteousness.

In His Grace,
Shea Mc