Tired...

Well it is Tuesday and I just realized that I haven't posted anything from our weekend get away to the beach. The beach was very nice even though we didn't get to see much of it because it was such a quick trip. We stayed at Seaside and all of the wedding activities were there. Chelsea was a beautiful bride and everything went off without a hitch. I did get some shopping in Saturday but believe it or not I did not buy one thing for myself!!! There's a first time for everything I guess. I really enjoyed getting away and spending time with my family. We laughed a lot and enjoyed sharing memories from the past with the Dossett family.

The beach was a break from reality for me for a few days...which I must say I really needed. On the way home though I couldn't help but think about what all is going on in my life right now. I am such a planner and to be honest so far my life hasn't been that far off track...until now! As a little girl you dream of your wedding day...your husband...and then plan out your family. It all seems so easy to plan out. Shea and I knew we always wanted children...preferably two...and we knew we wanted to be married for a few years too before children came into our life. Well I must say that I was not prepared for children the way God wanted me to be planned. God has known this plan for a long time...he didn't just wake up on August 20th and say...I am going to get Bethany and Shea off their plan today. He has been planning this for a very long time. Was I ready? NO! Am I ashamed that I was not ready? YES! In saying this I have strengthen my relationship with God. I have prayed (even before August 20th) that I may come to know our Lord in a more deeper/spiritual way. Mary Glenn has allowed this to happen and I am very thankful.

After our doctor's visit on Friday I was very discouraged and in some ways I still feel the same way. The last two days have been extremely hard for me. I can't explain why though. I am tired. I feel so helpless. I have no idea what is going on inside me with Mary Glenn...fear of the unknown. I come today asking for prayers! I have the most wonderful support group that anyone could have...my dear husband has been wonderful. My parents and sister are so encouraging, but still sometimes you feel lost and all by yourself. Only God knows what our future holds and until that is revealed to us I pray that God continue to place the unshakable peace on me so that I can get through each day. I ask for strength and comfort during these trying days. Of course I pray for Mary Glenn and that she may grow grow grow! She is already a child of God. She has already given me so much...more than I could ever ask for from her...a more definite relationship with our Lord and Savior. I pray that Shea and I continue to use Mary Glenn to glorify Him and that His will be done. And last but certainly not least I pray for preparation of our hearts.

I will go back to Dr. Benton on Friday at 1:00 for another NST and doctor's visit. An ultrasound is not scheduled but I am not sure if Dr. Benton will want to check her growth rate or not. IF we don't pass this NST will we most probably go to the delivery room. Please pray for our family during this time on Friday. Thanks for everything.

In His Words,
Bethany