The Passing of a Great Man

My grandfather (actually my step grandfather, but I never looked at him that way) Dr. Van A. Phillips passed away this morning around 2:30 a.m. Both of his daughters, my grandmother, and my mother were there with him. Please pray for all of our families as we mourn the loss of this great man. Dr. Phillips, or "doc" as we called him, was such a wonderful man and loved by many. He was so good to my grandmother. They actually went to high school together...both married other people...had long marriages...then both spouses died around the same time...a few years later they married. They actually married December 29, 1998 so yesterday was their 10th anniversary. They were great for each other as they were companions for one another. He was a great caregiver to my grandmother and I will always be thankful to him for this reason. Please pray a special prayer for my grandmother as this is the second husband she has lost. I can't imagine the pain she is feeling right now.

Much Love,
Bethany

Prayers Needed

I come to you all tonight asking for prayers for my grandfather. This morning he was not feeling well so my grandmother took him to the ER. They learned that he was having congestive heart failure. They were going to need to admit him and remove fluid from the heart but things looked okay. Then while still in the ER he coded...they got him back but things are not looking good. They have now learned that he has an infection in the blood...his kidneys are also not functioning. Please pray for his two daughters and my grandmother. This is my grandmother's second husband...they married ten years ago after both of their spouses passed away. Also please pray for my mother as she is having to be with my grandmother during this hard time. My grandmother has the beginning of Alzheimer's disease and things can get her confused very quickly. I was with them for awhile tonight but seeing him on the respirator brought back fresh memories of precious Mary Glenn so I decided to come home and have some time to myself (Shea is off hunting). So now Marley and I will try to get some rest and pray for God's will on my grandfather.

Much Love,
Bethany

Christmas In Heaven

A friend sent this poem to me in the mail during the holidays and I had planned on sharing it with you guys on Christmas Day but we were on a schedule and pooped by the end of the night and I forgot to do so. Shea and I had a great Christmas considering everything that we have been going through these past few months. We had some moments of sadness...moments of crying VERY hard, and LOTS of moments with laughter. We were surrounded by friends and family which always brings joy to my heart.

Christmas In Heaven

I see the countless CHRISTMAS TREES around the world below
with tiny lights like HEAVEN'S STARS reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so SPECTACULAR please wipe away that tear
for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.

I hear the many CHRISTMAS SONGS that people hold so dear
but the SOUND OF MUSIC can't compare with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here.

I have no words to tell you of the JOY their voices bring
for it is beyond description to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.

I know HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME, I see the pain inside your heart
for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.

I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR or the PEACE here in this place
Can you just imagine CHRISTMAS WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face

I'll ask him to LIFT YOUR SPIRIT as I tell him of your love
so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your HEARTS BE JOYFUL and let your SPIRIT SING
for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN and I'm walking WITH THE KING.

I will be posting pictures from Nashville and Christmas soon, but now I must get started balancing our checkbook...paying bills...and writing thank you notes!

Love,
Bethany

I'M BACK!!!

First I must apologize for not posting any blogs lately. I didn't realize how long it had been. We have been very busy and honestly I have been enjoying taking a break from the blog world...but I'M BACK!

Shea and I had a GREAT Thanksgiving. We spent the day at my Aunt Julie's house in Carnes, MS...this is a family tradition that we have been doing as long as I can remember. My Aunt Julie is such a wonderful person and a true friend in Christ. Her faith is amazing and I love spending time with her. The night was spent with Shea's family. Shea broke out the guitar and played his #1 fan (his mother) a few songs. Shea has never missed an opportunity to play for a crowd. Usually Shea leaves Thanksgiving day to spend the rest of the holiday with my dad at the duck camp, but this year he spent it with me and for that I was SUPER thankful.

Since Thanksgiving we have stayed on the go with Christmas parties and hanging out with each other. Shea did take a quick trip to the duck camp Friday and Saturday...the weather was suppose to be perfect for deer and ducks...but for some reason he didn't come with a deer or many ducks. I told him yesterday that I think he uses that excuse to get away from me!!! My hormones are still out of whack. If you don't beleive me then ask Shea about my break down last Wednesday night.

This past Thursday South Mississippi was covered in snow. The news and my neighbors estimated that we got almost 5 inches of snow in Sumrall. It was wild. It started snowing at 5:45 in the morning and didn't stop til 1:00 that afternoon. It was the hardest snow that I have ever seen and absolutely gourgeous.

Overall I am doing good. I still have my moments. I really miss Mary Glenn and the holidays are especially hard. I had planned out a totally different holiday...one that may include a baby or one with me about to pop. Neither of these plans are reality. The reality is that I will celebrate my Christmas with a baby that has gone to be with our Lord. I know she is up there singing away and watching how her daddy absolutely loves the holidays and how her mom stresses out over the small things when it comes to the holidays. I will say that this Christmas is totally different...but in a good way. I have never looked at Christmas in the way I do now. Christmas has a new meaning to me and it always will because of my precious baby girl. Once again...thank you Mary Glenn. I know you are up there singing Christmas carols with your pops, mammaw & grandaddy, and pawpaw...sing my favorite song for me...O Holy Night...I know you sound a lot better than your mommie. I love you!!!

Shea and I leave Wednesday for a much needed get away...by ourselves...to Nashville! We are very excited and can't wait to get there and hang out. I will be posting pictures when we return. For now I have posted some pictures of our Christmas decorations and some from the snow day.







More pictures...








MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!
Bethany

Memorials

Many people have asked us about how and where to submit a Memorial in Mary Glenn's name. Shea and I thought a lot about this topic and we knew that somehow we wanted it to benefit the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) at Forrest General Hospital. The doctors and nurses were absolutely amazing and we could not have asked for better care. If you are interested in making a donation in memory of Mary Glenn the information is below. I would like to thank you in advance for your contribution.

Forrest General Healthcare Foundation
Neonatal Unit
P.O. Box 19010
Hattiesburg, MS 39404
(601) 288-4396
In Memory of: Mary Glenn McNease

With Love,
Shea and Bethany

Diagnosis Received

Saturday we learned that the initial tests indicated that Mary Glenn had Trisomy 18. The original test was only for the 18th chromosome. Dr. Henderson called us tonight and after more testing Mary Glenn has triploid syndrome. What does this mean? In a normal pregnancy the baby carries 46 chromosomes...23 from the mother and 23 from the father. Mary Glenn had three of every chromosome...a total of 69 chromosomes. Shea and I have done some research tonight and this is very rare. More amazing is the fact that most babies die in an early miscarriage. Very rarely do babies make it to full term and even more rare do they live but a few hours. There are only a few cases where the baby has made it full term and nothing has been reported that a baby with the Triploid Syndrome live over 5 months. God is revealing to us each day how blessed we were to have almost a complete day with our baby girl. We do not know the chances of recurrences but we will meet with doctors and find out what we can expect. Thanks again for your continued support and prayers.

With Love,
Shea and Bethany

A Blessing

I have thought several times how I would post my first blog since the birth and passing of our precious baby girl, Mary Glenn McNease. I think Shea's post Sunday was absolutely wonderful and beautiful. I am married to such an amazing man. God chose Shea to be my partner in my life and for this I am so very thankful. I can't imagine going through this with someone other than Shea. God planned our life out together long before we met and he planned us to be the parents of Mary Glenn...God blessed us with an angel. Of course we will grieve only because we are human, but we will also rejoice in the fact that Mary Glenn is home with our Heavenly Father.

When I went to the doctor Thursday and learned that our child would be born that night I prayed so hard that God's will be done. We didn't know what we were looking at but I did know doctors were worried about the outcome. Mary Glenn was born at 5:05 p.m. on November 13, 2008...weighing in at 1 lb. 5 ozs. and 11 1/2" long. She came out whimpering and crying some. Dr. Henderson and his team did a great job in caring for her small body. After surgery Dr. Henderson explained she may have some heart problems and be a Trisonomy 18 (T18) baby due to certain markers on her little body. At first the heart problem scared us more than the T18 mainly because this meant our baby would have to go to Jackson for treatment and Shea and I would be broken apart. When they first wheeled me to the NICU to see Mary Glenn...Dr. Henderson told us her heart was fine and no need in Jackson...a prayer answered. I got to touch her this night...tell her that I loved her...and take sweet pictures of her.

Friday morning we (mom, Shea, and I) got to spend some time with her again...she was under the light with her sunglasses on...just laying there. We were able to "hold" her for a tiny bit. "Holding" her is not actually picking her up but putting our hands around her small body. I must say that when Shea did this her stats went up...she was a daddy's girl!!! Then around 1:45 Friday afternoon Dr. Henderson came to give us the news that I believe Shea knew may have been coming. Dr. Henderson let us know that we were losing her and we needed to get down to the NICU immediately. Mary Glenn's lungs were giving out and we knew it was time for her to go home. Because Mary Glenn's heart was strong we had 45 unbelievable moments with her that I will always remember. We got to hold her and love on her...I mean actually hold her...free from tubes and wires!!! I will always remember her brown eyes staring back at me just looking at her mother...what a blessing. I was able to tell her how much I loved her, but most importantly I got to tell Mary Glenn...THANK YOU! This was very important to me. Mary Glenn was a gift from God. She has changed me in so many ways. She has made me a better person...she has brought me closer to our Lord...she has made my relationship with her daddy stronger...she has brought others closer to the Lord...and has strengthen our prayer life! As Shea posted in his blog...Mary Glenn accomplished more on this earth in those few hours then I have in my entire life. She was on a mission...she accomplished her mission...and went home. Shea and I were not suppose to have one minute with our angel and we had a day with her...how awesome! While she took her last breaths we all sang Jesus Loves Me to her and then at 2:36 p.m. on November 14, 2008 she went to be with our Lord and Savior.

We did find out that the intital test did show that Mary Glenn had T18. We will learn more in the weeks to come on the blood results. T18 is a fatal diagnosis. Some babies will live for up to a year, but the percentages are much higher for the baby to only live for a few days. We did learn afterwards that because T18 is fatal that we would have had to make very hard decisions on our baby's life. Mary Glenn knew how hard this would be on her mother and daddy so she went on her own time. AMEN!

Yesterday, Monday, November 17, 2008 we buried our baby girl. This was not in my plan but in God's plan. Words can not express the emotions that entered my body yesterday. I will say that when we were planning out the arrangements we thought at one time to make the service private. After talking Shea and I decided that we had so many people that helped us through this journey and it felt right to allow others to celebrate her life. Shea and I were amazed and so grateful for everyone that came to the service yesterday. It was such a testimony of Mary Glenn. She may not have been that big in size but her impact was so big. AMEN! We prayed over and over that we use Mary Glenn to glorify His name. We will continue to do so. We will continue to pray for God's will to be done.

In closing this post we do not know what the future holds for us, but we do know that we must move on and face the challenges ahead on a day to day basis. I thank everyone for their support on our journey. I ask for continued prayers for Shea and I and our future. We are overwhelmed by the support of our friends and family! We will never be able to thank you enough!

In His Words,
Bethany

Mission Accomplished

We're not supposed to bury our children. This is a psychological truth and an unnatural act. God is God! This is basic theology and a comforting fact. I made funeral arrangements for my daughter today. A crippling experience to say the least, but it allowed for a great deal of uninterrupted reflection, which led to unexplainable peace.

Mary Glenn McNease was special. I don't say that because she was my daughter, I say it because it is true. In 32 weeks and 5 days of gestation, and 21 hours, 35 minutes of life, she accomplished more than her daddy has in 35 wasted years. All parents want their children to be better than they are. Mary Glenn was better than me. She changed my life forever and made me a better man, a stronger christian and a more faithful worshipper. I will weep for many days to come because I am left in a fallen creation to strive for the unattainable. She has acheived perfection. There are no ventilators, no I.V.'s and no chromosomal abnormalities where she is today. Mary Glenn has attained what her daddy hopes for one day and that is to hear our sweet Saviour say, "Well done my good and faithful servant."

I always hesitated to say that the change in diagnosis was a miracle. But I now boldly say that the whole concept was a miracle. Mary Glenn died because of sin. Original sin that plagues us all until we get our undeserved reward. God loves us all. He showed that when He sent His Son to die for us. He has given me more than I deserve, and has seen fit to take my daughter. If that advances His kingdom on Earth, then "It Is Well With My Soul." If you know me, and weep for my daughter, and don't know Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, I hope you will seek Him. Otherwise, my daughter died in vain. She is resting in His arms and I long to see them both. She accomplished exactly what she was sent to do, no more, no less. The Lord God Jehovah be praised for this experience. I hope when everyone who reads this meets their fate, they can say, "Mission Accomplished."

Bethany and I want to thank everyone for their support. We will continue this blog and hope that all will continue to follow it.

In His Grace,
Shea Mc

Going Home

Mary Glenn McNease was called home to be with the Lord at 2:36 pm today.
Bethany, Shea and their families give thanks to God for the gift and blessing of Mary Glenn and they are grateful for the time they were able to spend with her.
Bethany and Shea also want to express their thanks and gratitude for all of your amazing support. Your many thoughts and prayers have been deeply felt throughout their journey. Please remain prayerful and continue to lift them up as they move forward.

They rest in the fact that...
God is good!
God is in control!
God's will, be done!

Lorin Singletary Jones

Having A Baby, Delivering Today

Hello everyone, I am a friend of Bethany and Shea's and they have asked me to create this post. Bethany and Shea will have their baby, Mary Glenn, Today. After Bethany's appointment, doctors determined that Mary Glenn had not grown and that it would be best for her to enter this world today. Bethany will have a C-section this evening. Please continue to remember them and their families. They have asked for and will greatly appreciate your prayers at this time.
As Bethany and Shea have often reminded us,
God is good!
God is in control!
God's will be done!

Lorin

A Big Day

I feel like every week I say we have a Big Day...but today seems different. I also always feel like I am begging for prayers...but today I REALLY need them. I am a nervous wreck about our appointment this afternoon. I just pray that Mary Glenn has grown but on the other hand I pray for God's will!

For those of you that read the blog often and remember the blog named "I Saw God Today" that I posted a few weeks ago about a song by George Strait won Single of the Year award last night on the CMAs. I thought that was great!!!

Psalm 139:9-10

If I live at the eastern horizon or settle at the western limits, even there Your hand will lead me; Your right hand will hold on to me.

It is very comforting to me to know that God is with me every step of the way with my journey. I don't think I have stopped asking God for comfort and peace today. Thanks in advance for your prayers. We love you all!

In His Words,
Bethany

Emotions

Before I get into details of why I titled this post "Emotions" I want to first tell you all about the past few days. Wednesday night after work my mother, sister, aunt, cousin, and a friend headed to Jackson for Missletoe Market Place. Wednesday night we ate dinner at Ely's in Ridgeland...FABULOUS!!! My friend's husband opened the restaurant in February and this was my first time to try it out...I was to say the least very pleased! Thursday was a day filled with shopping! We started the day off at Missletoe and once general admission came in at 11:00 we were walking out the door. I DO NOT do crowds. I will say this...I think I sat on every bench there!!! Mom and I went to Sweet Dreams to buy a couple of outfits for Mary Glenn and then the rest of the day was spent at Renaissance. GREAT SHOPPING!

Friday morning I headed to Mobile with friends for Katie and Richard's wedding weekend. It was such a great time...See pictures below. Katie was gorgeous as usual!!





Well it has been a month since we last saw Mary Glenn on the ultrasound...it has felt longer than that though. My patience has been tested lately. This has been the longest interval of time of actually having an ultrasound but both doctors felt like it was best to give it time for her to grow. I don't know how many times I have worried about her growth...way too many times to count. When it does cross my mind I have to ask God to handle that worry...I press on for an hour...minute...or second...begin to worry again...and then once again turn it over to God. God is much better at handling my worries and fears than I...so it just seems like the logical thing to do. I must understand that if she hasn't grown that this is God's plan. He has a purpose. We go tomorrow for the ultrasound at 1:00...our NST is not until 3:00 and then doctor's visit after the NST. If Mary Glenn has not grown and/or we do not pass the NST then we will most likely head to the delivery room. If she has grown and we do pass the NST (PRAY PRAY PRAY) then we will probably set the date for her delivery...most likely the week of Thanksgiving. For some reason it just seems right for her to come at Thanksgiving...what a blessing she will be to our family.

Shea and I ask for prayers as tomorrow's day at the doctor's office approaches. I am nervous, anxious, worried, excited, etc.... Please pray that God's will be done. We must use this journey to glorify His name and praise Him. I also pray that God prepare Shea, our family and friends, and myself for the news we will receive tomorrow. Only the good Lord knows what is to happen, but Shea and I need to be prepared for whatever...hopefully and prayerfully GREAT news. Of course we pray for GROWTH and a good NST and that Mary Glenn is healthly. Our God works miracles every day! Thank you all for your continued support. We are very thankful to have you all along with us on our journey. God Bless!

1 Peter: 5:6-7 KJV
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Ephesians 3:12 TLB
Now we can come fearlessly right into God's presence, assured of his glad welcome when we come with Christ and trust in Him.

In His Words,
Bethany

Introducing...

I have not posted in a few days but I wanted to post a couple of pictures today of some new friends...I have had ALOT going since last Thursday but I will post more about those events later today or tomorrow. This post is about NEW BABIES!!!

Below is William Hatten Jussley...son of Rachel and Josh Jussley. I got to visit with Rachel and Hatten last night and he is absolutely beautiful! Congratulations!!! You can barely see Hatten but maybe you can catch a glimpse of him under his blanket...



Saturday morning two precious baby boys entered this world at 32 weeks...Cannon Corey Loftin and Gunner Cody Loftin...sons of Corey and Jessica Loftin. Cannon weighed 3 lbs 3 ozs and Gunner weighed 3 lbs. 6 ozs. Both boys are doing GREAT!!! Of course they will be in the NICU for many weeks, but both boys are breathing on their own and Jessica actually got to hold Cannon for the first time last night. I ask that you say a special prayer for Jessica and Corey as they will be leaving the hospital today and Jessica is overwhelmed with emotions of having to leave the boys! Here are a couple of pictures...ENJOY!

Psalm 139: 13-14

Interesting...

After having such an overwhelming morning and worrying constantly about Mary Glenn and her growth...I got to work and had a GREAT verse of the day on my desk, so I thought I would share. I hope you all are having a good Wednesday.

Psalm 139: 13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

PRAISE GOD!!!

Bethany

We passed another NST...

Well we passed our fifth NST. Way to go Mary Glenn! Mary Glenn was a little sleepy this morning..we usually do our NSTs in the afternoon so our sweet tech Cindy had to "zap" her a couple of times to get that heart rate going. For all of you not familiar with the "zap" term it means that the tech will put a little vibration on your belly to stimulate the baby's heartbeat. Dr. Benton said the NST looked good and gave me the go ahead on Missletoe and Katie's wedding!!! I am very excited.

Even though we got good news today I am a little overwhelmed. In saying this I think Dr. Benton could feel that I am a little tired today. I am emotionally drained. I am nervous, scared, and worried already about our doctor visit next Thursday. Next Thursday we will have a growth ultrasound to see how much Mary Glenn has grown in four weeks. Please begin to pray now!!! I just hope she has grown...last time we checked she was 1 pound 3 ozs. We found out today that we will most likely deliver in 3 weeks!!! After Thursday's appointment both doctors (Benton and Perry) will discuss, but Dr. Benton feels very confident that we will take Mary Glenn at 34 weeks. I am 31 weeks 5 days today. Now you may know why I am concerned about her weight!!! GROW MARY GLENN GROW!!!!

Well I am going to go get some work done today as we will leave in a few hours for Jackson. I am going to try to relax and enjoy every moment of my time with friends and family over the next few days. I keep reminding my hard headed self today that GOD IS IN CONTROL!!! I ask for certain prayer requests today: God's will be done, GROWTH for Mary Glenn, for God to prepare Shea and I for the future, peace, strength, guidance, and PATIENCE!!! Thanks so much for joining us on this journey. We couldn't make it without the prayers and support of each of you!!! This morning a sweet friend of mine sent me a verse...it is actually one of my favorites and I will leave you all today with the verse.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go

In His Words,
Bethany

Change in Plans...

To All:

My doctor visit this week was originally scheduled for Friday at 8:00. Yesterday Dr. Benton's office called and had to reschedule me to Wednesday (tomorrow) at 8:20. Please say a prayer for us at this time. If I pass the NST I will leave for Missletoe MarketPlace in Jackson for a fun day of shopping Thursday and then off to my friend's wedding festivities in Mobile on Friday. I hope you all have a great day and don't forget to vote!

Psalm 34:4 - I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all of my fears.

Have a blessed day!
Bethany

A Good Day

Today was a good day. We started the morning off in Jackson with Dr. Shores. She is absolutely wonderful and it was a joy to get to meet her today. She did an ultrasound of the heart only. We did get to see Mary Glenn but it was only for a short second and no measurements were taken. The diagnosis of her heart was really good. The fluid is still there but it is so small...just a smidgen as the doctor described it to us. It is located on the lower anterior lobe and does not surround her heart. The number one cause of fluid around the heart is: structural damage, number two: heart arrhythmia, and number three: a viral infection to me and the baby. Mary Glenn's heart structurally, functionally, and rhythmically all look normal to Dr. Shores. PRAISE GOD!!! She believes that the same thing that caused the kidneys to shut down probably caused this fluid. She told us today she did not see any reason for us to deliver in Jackson. She felt confident in the NICU at Forrest General Hospital. Another praise to God. What now? She did order an echocardiogram at birth. If the fluid is still there then we will follow up with her in Jackson after birth...if not we are free from Jackson. We will continue the NSTs each week.

After Jackson we traveled back to Hattiesburg for our fourth NST test. Once again we passed. PRAISE GOD!!! Dr. Benton was very pleased with the results and we press on for yet another week. Dr. Benton did tell us today that himself and Dr. Perry have discussed taking this baby at 34 weeks...which is three weeks from Saturday. Dr. Benton is going to talk with Dr. Perry again in the next week or so and discuss further. We were hoping for closer to 36 weeks but I am putting this ultimately in the hands of God and also our doctors. Some of you may (including my family) ask why so soon. Well with a baby that is growth restricted like Mary Glenn the chance of complications in the womb increases between 34 and 36 weeks. This was definitely an eye opener for Shea and I but we must trust our God.

While in Jackson with Dr. Shores we were leaving the office and having small talk. Somehow the topic came up that I was over 30 week gestation and how that was a positive sign. I explained to Dr. Shores that I was 30 (almost 31) weeks but the baby was measuring much smaller than me. She then explained something to us that I have never grasped. The baby may measure 24 to 26 weeks, but her maturity is the same as my gestation. Which means that her organs are 30 weeks...her skin...her eyes...etc... This was positive news to me because I was thinking her lungs were only at 24 weeks. If we can make it a few more weeks we will have a better chance with better lung development. PRAY!!!

Every time we have a doctor visit we get asked the same thing...how big is she now??? We are not measuring at this time. Two weeks ago (our last growth ultrasound) she had only gained 1 oz which was very discouraging to myself. We talked with Dr. Benton and Dr. Perry and they both explained that we must give her time to grow...SHE IS GOING TO BE SMALL!!! When we have ultrasounds every week or so it starts giving us false positives and negatives. We will have a growth ultrasound on November 13th! PRAY!!! Our next doctor's visit is next Friday, November 7th at 8:00 for a NST and visit. This is actually a very important NST for myself. One of my best friends is getting married next weekend and I want so bad to be there for her on this big day. The good Lord willing I will have my NST that morning then hopefully head to Mobile for wedding festivities. Please PRAY for a good NST!

I will post a picture tomorrow but this afternoon Shea and I went to visit friends Rachel and Josh Jussley and their new baby boy Hatten. He is so beautiful. Congratulations!!!

God must be given the glory today. He is so awesome and wonderful!!! I have given him lots of praise today...but that is still not enough. Please continue to lift us up in your prayers...IT IS WORKING!!! We love you all!

In His Words,
Bethany

Finally Pictures...

So today I finally got the time to post some pictures on our blog. I found it fitting that the first pictures posted would be Miss Mary Glenn McNease. These pictures are a few weeks old now so I pray that she has gotten bigger. We will be leaving early in the morning for Jackson to visit with Dr. Shores about Mary Glenn's heart. If everything is okay there we will come back to Hattiesburg for our fourth NST. WOW...Tomorrow is a BIG Day!!! Please pray for us. We pray for God's will to be done, for encouraging words at both doctor visits, and for God to prepare our family for the outcome.

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians 1: 18-19 NIV

In His Words,
Bethany

I Saw God Today

Good morning to you all. I apologize for not posting anything yesterday but I went non stop after leaving the doctor and when I got home I crashed. As you may know since I am typing this post the day after my doctor's visit we passed the NST for the 3rd time!!! Dr. Benton was very pleased with the results. So now we press on another week and wait for Thursday, Oct. 30. Please pray for us on that day as it is a big day. We will have a visit with Dr. Shores (cardiologoist) in Jackson at 9:00 and then we will have an NST that afternoon at 3:00 with Dr. Benton in Hattiesburg. Dr. Benton will not be in clinic on Friday therefore our NST is on Thursday.

Now for an explanation of the title of this post. The day Shea and I found out we were pregnant we were on the way to the doctor's office...nervous, excited, and scared. Well George Strait had a new song out at that time (April 2008) titled "I Saw God Today". I had heard it a few times but that morning I really noticed the words and cried because it was such a sweet song. Then we got out of the doctor's office and confirmed the pregnancy...the song that came on..."I Saw God Today". WOW! This instantly became my new favorite song...and for some reason when I listen to the words it lets me remember how awesome our God is and that He is so big...it calms my nerves. Then on the way to our first ultrasound the song came on again...and two weeks later for another ultrasound...it played again right by the doctor's office. It was a sign to me that God was allowing me to hear this song to calm me down before these appointments. You must remember that the song was new at that time and played alot on the radio. Since August I have heard it many more times but mainly because I have chose to play it on my computer at work. Yesterday, after having such a "down" week, I heard it on the radio on my way to the doctor's offfice. I immediately sent Shea a text to quiz him on what song I had just heard...we haven't discussed this song in a long time...and his first answer was..."I Saw God Today"!!! This may not mean much to you guys but I think it is such an awesome way to show us that God is with us at all times and he knows exactly what we need and when we need it! I posted the lyrics below for those of you that may have not heard the song before.

I just walked down the street to the coffee shop
had to take a break
I'd been by her side for eighteen hours straight
I saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk
pushing up through the concrete
like it was planted right there for me to see
the flashin' lights, the honkin' horns
all seemed to fade away
in the shadow of that hospital at 5:08
I saw God today

Chorus:
I've been to church
I've read the book
I know He's here, but I don't look
near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I'd just slow down to stop and stare
opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today

I saw a couple walking by they were holding hands
Man, she had that glow
yeah I couldn't help but notice she was starting to show
I stood there for a minute takin' in the sky
lost in that sunset
a splash of amber melted in the shades of red

Chorus

I got my face pressed up against the nursery glass
She's sleeping like a rock
My name on her wrist wearing tiny pink socks
She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes
My brand new baby girl
She's a miracle
I saw God today

I can not finish this post without thanking you all once again for the prayers and support. It is so comforting to Shea, our families, and myself to know that we have such wonderful friends. We are still on a long journey...with twists and curves...but with God we are going to make it. Dr. Benton, Shea, and I talked for a long time yesterday...we can't predict the outcome of this pregnancy...but we can turn our eyes upon Jesus...trust Him...have faith in Him...and take one day at time and follow the path He has paved for us. We love you all!

In His Words,
Bethany

Dr. Appt

The daily verse for today from Beth Moore's book was:

Let us hold onto the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23)

Hold onto the hope WITHOUT wavering!!!! We go for our weekly NST today at 1:00 then a doctor's appointment afterwards with Dr. Benton. We ask for prayers! I will update afterwards...Lord willing!

In His Words,
Bethany

Tired...

Well it is Tuesday and I just realized that I haven't posted anything from our weekend get away to the beach. The beach was very nice even though we didn't get to see much of it because it was such a quick trip. We stayed at Seaside and all of the wedding activities were there. Chelsea was a beautiful bride and everything went off without a hitch. I did get some shopping in Saturday but believe it or not I did not buy one thing for myself!!! There's a first time for everything I guess. I really enjoyed getting away and spending time with my family. We laughed a lot and enjoyed sharing memories from the past with the Dossett family.

The beach was a break from reality for me for a few days...which I must say I really needed. On the way home though I couldn't help but think about what all is going on in my life right now. I am such a planner and to be honest so far my life hasn't been that far off track...until now! As a little girl you dream of your wedding day...your husband...and then plan out your family. It all seems so easy to plan out. Shea and I knew we always wanted children...preferably two...and we knew we wanted to be married for a few years too before children came into our life. Well I must say that I was not prepared for children the way God wanted me to be planned. God has known this plan for a long time...he didn't just wake up on August 20th and say...I am going to get Bethany and Shea off their plan today. He has been planning this for a very long time. Was I ready? NO! Am I ashamed that I was not ready? YES! In saying this I have strengthen my relationship with God. I have prayed (even before August 20th) that I may come to know our Lord in a more deeper/spiritual way. Mary Glenn has allowed this to happen and I am very thankful.

After our doctor's visit on Friday I was very discouraged and in some ways I still feel the same way. The last two days have been extremely hard for me. I can't explain why though. I am tired. I feel so helpless. I have no idea what is going on inside me with Mary Glenn...fear of the unknown. I come today asking for prayers! I have the most wonderful support group that anyone could have...my dear husband has been wonderful. My parents and sister are so encouraging, but still sometimes you feel lost and all by yourself. Only God knows what our future holds and until that is revealed to us I pray that God continue to place the unshakable peace on me so that I can get through each day. I ask for strength and comfort during these trying days. Of course I pray for Mary Glenn and that she may grow grow grow! She is already a child of God. She has already given me so much...more than I could ever ask for from her...a more definite relationship with our Lord and Savior. I pray that Shea and I continue to use Mary Glenn to glorify Him and that His will be done. And last but certainly not least I pray for preparation of our hearts.

I will go back to Dr. Benton on Friday at 1:00 for another NST and doctor's visit. An ultrasound is not scheduled but I am not sure if Dr. Benton will want to check her growth rate or not. IF we don't pass this NST will we most probably go to the delivery room. Please pray for our family during this time on Friday. Thanks for everything.

In His Words,
Bethany

PLEASE PRAY FOR GROWTH!

This post will be short and to the point...Dr. Benton gave us the go ahead on our beach trip. The NST went well today and Dr. Benton said that part looked good. We had an ultrasound today too. It doesn't seem that Mary Glenn has grown much. She has only gained an ounce and we have lost a week of growth. Of course I am VERY disappointed and discouraged but I must turn my eyes upon Jesus and ask for his help! Once finding out the news Dr. Benton called Dr. Perry in Jackson. Dr. Perry said to keep pressing on as is and do not change anything. Dr. Benton let Shea and I know that both doctors (Perry and Benton) did not feel that I would pass the first NST test and I would be having a c-section that day. Well I have passed two now so that is optimistic. Dr. Perry and Benton explained to us that right now she has grown some and her NST is good, so right now she is better off in the womb because of her lungs. Most importantly right now is her growth!!!! Krystale did see the sliver of fluid around her heart so it is still there but we will wait on Dr. Shores visit to get that explanation.

I ask now for everyone to keep praying. It is so important and I know I have some powerful prayer warriors out there! We pray for her growth, Dr. Shores upcoming heart visit, and God's will. Please pray for myself too. I am struggling but by God's grace staying strong. I left the doctor today very discouraged and tired. We will go back to Dr. Benton's office next Friday for another NST. Until the I am sure I will post again...but keep praying for MARY GLENN TO GROW!!!

In His Words,
Bethany

Rescheduled...

I want to let you all know that our appointment with Dr. Shores has been cancelled tomorrow. I got a call today at 4:45 from her office. She has a virus and the appointment has been rescheduled for October 30th at 9:00 a.m. Please pray for me as you may know that I am very disappointed and upset about the change in days. I am an emotional wreck already and I was so looking forward to finding out about Mary Glenn's heart and the severity of the issue. So now we WAIT again...for two more weeks!!! Also, once again I must turn everything over to God and allow Him to come to me and give me comfort and peace. HE IS IN CONTROL!!! We will be going to see Dr. Benton for an NST Friday morning and the dreaded 3 hour glucose test. Please pray that everything goes well Friday and that our family can leave for the beach and enjoy a much needed weekend away. Also pray for Dr. Shores that she will be feeling better soon.

In His Words,
Bethany

Wait, Watch, and See

Last Monday Dr. Perry said that we would now have to Wait, Watch, and See. I must tell you that is MUCH easier said than done. I am struggling. This morning I prayed to God to give me peace about the unknown. Me not knowing what is going on with Mary Glenn is VERY hard. She is constantly on my mind. Today has been overwhelming hard. I am so anxious and nervous about our viist tomorrow in Jackson with the cardiologosit. At my office I have a Promises & Blessings book on my desk that gives me a scripture verse for each day of the week. The past three days the Lord has been talking to me through these verses.

Monday (10/13)
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. (Psalm 27:14 KJV)

Tuesday (10/14)
The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps. (Proverbs 16:9 NRSV)

Wednesday (10/15) One of my favorites!!!
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. (Psalm 34:4-5 NIV)

How awesome are these verses??? I take comfort by reading and then re-reading these verses. Please continue to pray for us, especially tomorrow at 9:00. We continue to ask for you to pray for God's will to be done and for God to prepare us for the outcome. Of course, we ask for encouraging words at our doctor's visit tomorrow. On a special note, I ask for peace and comforting. It is very hard for me to stay focused but I am trying. God is good and HE IS IN CONTROL!!!

In His Words,
Bethany

27 Weeks and 6 Days

Today I am 27 weeks and 6 days for those that are keeping track. I had my first NST today and things went well. Mary Glenn's heartrate stayed consistent in the 150s which made Dr. Benton very happy. We got the stamp of approval for another week. My next NST will be next Friday morning along with my 3 hour glucose test!!! I am not sure if I will have an ultrasound Friday.

Keep praying for another positive visit to the doctor next Friday but also next Thursday when we go to see the cardiologoist for Mary Glenn's heart. If everything looks good to the doctors then we will be heading the beach for a wedding. I must say that this would be the third time that I have tried to go out of town...so I pray that we are in good enough health to make the trip!!!

I hope you all have a good weekend!

Bethany

Please Remember...

I just wanted to remind everyone to say a special prayer for Shea, Mary Glenn, and I today at 1:00. I have my first NST (non stress test). They will be checking fetal assessments and making sure MG is not in distress. If so they could tell me to rest or if it is bad enough they could decide to deliver MG. I PRAY THIS IS NOT THE CASE!!!! This is just a routine visit and I will have this test each Friday.

Also...please say a special prayer for myself. I have been fighting a cold all week and would only take a Tylenol Sinus here and there. I am totally terrified to put anything in my body even if all the doctors say it is fine. Well this morning I woke up feeling HORRIBLE. I have started taking a Z-Pak but I pray I start feeling better soon.

I will post later today...the good Lord willing...

Here is the scripture from today:

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead. Hebrews 11:1,4

In His Words,
Bethany

Babies, Bucks and Ducks

I have a different outlook on being a dad for the first time since August 20, 2008. I asked the doctor point blank yesterday what he thought about My, Bethany and Mary Glenn's future. Can we plan? Can we buy stuff? These are seemingly shallow questions, but we didn't know. And for Bethany, not knowing is torture. For me, I was tired of being hard on everyone around me. I want to be excited about being a dad, but not naive. So Dr. Perry did not hesitate when he told me that we can officially do what any expecting couple does. Buy stuff, be excited, and for the first time in a month and a half, let our guard down somewhat.

I love to hunt and fish. It is one of the worldly things that defines who I am. I have a very understanding wife, who also enjoys it, mainly because of her upbringing. See my father-in-law has become my main partner in crime in these endeavours. He is a great outdoorsman. I'm not joking, he needs his own TV show. He has several cronies that he goes with, but predominantly, I go with him. And the benefits have not only been in harvesting game, but harvesting lessons in life. He has taught me how to duck hunt, which is the hobby about which I am most passionate. He has also taught me the better points of deer hunting and speckled trout fishing. I had been a successful hunter and fisherman before meeting him, but he helped me refine my skills and be more selective. To enjoy the outdoors, the creation and not worship at the altar of slaughter. We have had some tremendous adventures, and I look forward to many more.

It appears, as of yesterday, that I am much closer to actually becoming a dad. Not only a dad, but a dad to a precious little girl. This whole process has been wild, but I got a feeling that being a male, helping to raise a female is going to be even wilder. I look very forward to it, and I've got some help. In addition to being a great outdoorsman, my father-in-law is also a great dad to two, beautiful, strong, intelligent, and refined young women. I hope, that I can pick up some of those things that made him tick when he was raising them. That way his granddaughter will hopefully have the same traits. My wife, and her sister, can both harvest game, prepare it, help run successful companies and know which fork goes on what side of the plate. Amazing!

I don't have to look far to know that I am blessed. I always want my daughter to know that she can do anything with assistance from God through Christ, that all things work together for good in God's will, Elvis is the King of Rock and Roll, Oprah is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, never use a feed call in more than 12 inches of water, and the 30-06 is the most versatile caliber of bullet for hunting whitetail deer. Not bad for starters. We'll work on the five points of Calvinism as she gets older.

In closing, I want to thank everyone for there prayers. They have worked and we always want to give the Lord God Jehovah all the glory. I am a feeble, depraved being, but He is perfect, just and righteous. Please continue to pray for me and my family both born and unborn. For the doctors, nurses and technicians as they give us information. And always pray that the Lord's will be done and that He receive ALL the glory. If you are reading this and you don't know Christ, I pray that you will seek His perfect peace. Life is better when you are worshiping the Creator and not the creation.

In His Grace,
Shea Mc

Encouraging Words

Well we just got back from Jackson and its 7:45 p.m.!!! It has been a very long day and of course event filled. You know how last night I made the comment when it rains it pours? Well I now believe we faced a worse storm today...maybe one like Hurricane Katrina. Thankfully the doctor's appointment did not cause this storm to brew. First things first. Our doctor's appointment went well and we left encouraged. I will give details later on. But afterwards we all went to eat in Jackson. Well we were leaving the restaurant and we walk outside...guess what...NO CAR!!!! My mother's car was stolen from a very busy section of Jackson in broad daylight at 1:30 in the afternoon!!! Well praise God that Shea was able to make the trip today...but he had to go in his own car to stay away from me. This way we had another car with us in Jackson. He was not running fever this morning and felt like he was okay to make the trip. On a personal note I was VERY relieved for him to be going. It was comforting having him by my side along with my mom and dad. Well after filing police reports we all (mom, dad, shea and I) loaded up in his truck and traveled back to Hattiesburg one vehicle short. If Mary Glenn makes it into this world we will have one heck of a story to tell her!!!

Now for the doctor's visit. Dr. Perry was encouraged by what he saw today. The amount of amniotic fluid is normal. Mary Glenn moved the whole time which really made Dr. Perry excited. The calcium deposit on her heart is still there and there is also a "sliver" of fluid around the heart. Dr. Perry said that we definitely need to take a further look at it with a pediatric cardiologist and get another opinion. He has hopes that this is nothing major. Mary Glenn is still small but also still four weeks behind in development. She has continued on an uphill climb and has not flattened out...this is GOOD news. She now weighs 506 grams or 1 lb. 2 oz. All of her measurements are in proportion to each other. Her brain and spine look normal. Her blood flow to the brain and the cord look good. Dr. Perry does not see any major birth defects...PRAISE OUR GOD!!!! Dr. Perry's biggest concern is the baby is small which we have been aware of this since the middle of August. He feels if we can carry this baby to 34/36 weeks (my gestation) then we will take her then. The reason for this is because with a baby that has had a growth restriction like Mary Glenn the chances of a still birth increase around this time and we do not want to take any chances. As of today I am 27 weeks and 3 days. Now what? I will see Dr. Shores (pediatric cardiologist) in Jackson next Thursday for a further and more in depth look at her heart. This Friday (October 10th) I will begin fetal assessments (NST) with Dr. Benton. I will continue the NSTs until we deliver.

Our God is good! This journey has been long and overwhelming but at the same time it has bettered me as a person. We have wanted to use our baby to glorify our Lord and Savior and I pray that we continue to do so. When Mary Glenn makes it into this world I can thank her for strengthening my relationship with God. I don't think I have stopped talking to Him today!!! One thing that was left in my mom's car was my Bible and journal. I pray that whoever did such an evil thing today will look in the back seat and look into the Bible and read His words. My writings in my journal can not be replaced but maybe they will read those words too and see how awesome of a God we have!!! Maybe they will read about our baby girl and how she fights each day and how God has changed our lives with her.

Thank you so much for all the prayers. Prayer is very powerful and I ask now that you please don't stop! Our visit next Thursday is important and I pray that we will be encouraged once again by the doctor. I pray for God's will to be continued and that Shea and I will guard our hearts with the news that is to come. Please begin praying for our cardiologist Dr. Shores. Pray for Mary Glenn and that she will continue to fight and grow for us each day! As always pray for Dr. Benton especially right now as he has been under the weather today. Words can not describe how I have been overwhelmed by the support of our family and friends. One last thing...pray for the person who felt lead today to steal my mother's car. Obviously they are a lost soul and need help. I pray that they may find help on the back seat of mom's car!! Much love to all of you...

In His Word,
Bethany

Psalm 13: 4-5

This morning after my two hours of sleep I got last night I opened up my Beth Moore devotion book and Psalm 13:4-5 was today's verse. I thought I would share it with you this morning.
My foes will rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in Your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in Your deliverance.
Here are a couple more verses that have been going through my head most of the night:
Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose.
Pslam 34:4 - I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

As always thanks for your continued prayers and support. We will be leaving in a couple of hours for a journey to Jackson.

In His Word,
Bethany

PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!

Well you know the saying..."When it rains it pours"? Well that is what is going on with me right now. Our weekend was really good. Saturday morning I got to spend some time with friends in Jackson. We hosted a wedding shower for my friend Katie. It was good for me to get out and visit with friends that I don't get to see very often. Saturday night we went to the USM game...it was a great game but USM did not come up on top. Maybe next week! Today was a GREAT Sunday. The guest pastor at church is one of my favorites...Dr. James Baird and he did an outstanding job with is message. After the service I got to spend time with a very special family member that I love dearly and don't get to see often. Even though you are a democrat Bev...I still love you! HAHA! Well after church Shea and I went home to relax...Shea had complained a little about not feeling well. Let's just say by 7:15 tonight I was dropping him off at Immediate Care with fever of 101 and tears in my eyes!!! This afternoon has just been emotional and with Shea sick it didn't help. I am so overcome with emotions for tomorrow that this just topped it off. We felt like Shea had a stomach bug just not sure. Well of course I couldn't go into Immediate Care because the last thing I need is to get myself or Mary Glenn sick. Well we were right with the diagnosis and Shea has a stomach virus. Shea explained our situation to the doctor because I am thinking even the least little thing may effect Mary Glenn a lot worse than it would a normal unborn baby. The doctor did not feel like the baby would be effected but informed Shea that he needed to keep his distance from me. So now I am writing this post at my parent's house while Shea is at our house. There is a high possibility that Shea will not be able to go with me to Jackson tomorrow and my heart is breaking. I can honestly say I broke tonight when I heard this news! We will see how he is doing tomorrow and make that decision then. Please pray for us...Shea feels so guilty that he is not here for me and I feel so sorry for him because there is nothing we can do...once again totally dependent on our God. Our God is GREAT and my faith is in Him! Even though both of our hearts are breaking...we turn our eyes on Him and believe in Him.

Tomorrow is such a big day. I can not even begin to tell you how many emotions I am going through and the thoughts that constantly stay on my mind. Please continue to pray for our 11:00 visit with Dr. Perry. As of now my mom will be going with me. I ask for you all to pray for God's will to be done, for God to prepare Shea, Mary Glenn, our family, and myself for the diagnosis, Dr. Perry and also for encouragement.

Last week Shea's sister sent me an e-mail titled "Your Birthday Bible Verse". To be honest most of the time I ignore forwards but for some reason I felt lead to check this out. So I went to a website...typed in my birthday and this is the verse that was used for my birthday...James 1:12..
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

I have thought of this verse often since I read it and I am clinging to it tonight with many others. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and I will post soon with results from tomorrow's visit...God willing.

In His Word,
Bethany

Still Going...

We had a full day at the doctor this morning. I drank the lovely orange flavored glucose drink and to say the least it was not good. It taste like a flat Sunkist with about 6 scoops of sugar in it! Next up was the ultrasound. Mary Glenn is still fighting with a heartrate of 153 bpm!!! We checked this week for total amniotic fluid. Normally we check for pockets of fluid. Krystal likes to see atleast 5cm of fluid and we were over 9!!! There is something normal about our pregnancy!!! Krystal did show concern about some facial features that may be under developed. She pointed this out so we could ask Dr. Perry on Monday. Her spine and brain look good and all organs look ok. In saying this Dr. Perry's test is much more advanced and he will be able to see more details than Krystals...therefore our visit Monday is VERY CRITICAL! Then I went to see Dr. Benton for a check up. As he was walking in the door to see me I was walking out to get pricked for my sugar test and to get the results. I could tell in his eyes something was up. He looked at me and said..."You are going to kill me." Of course I said...why? Well he told me that he shouldn't have scheduled my glucose test during the week of my steroid shots becuase the steroids will increase my sugar. Well I went back anyway to get the results and the lab tech laughed and said yes that they would definitely not be normal and of course she was right! My hemoglobin was great...14.2 but my sugar was 177. Anything over 140 requires the lovely 3 hour test! Dr. Benton said I could do the hour test again but if I didn't pass I would have to do the 3 hour test so we went ahead and scheduled the 3 hour test in two weeks. I told Dr. Benton that I was going to make him drink it with me since this was all his fault!!! HAHA! The actual visit with Dr. Benton went well. We all want so bad to get excited but still very hesitant to do so just because this visit is so important and Mary Glenn has such a high chance of having numerous problems. He did comment that her organs look good and her statistics are all in range of each other...meaning one measurement isn't way out of whack to the others. We are still a month behind in develoment. We will begin NSTs (Non Stress Test) next Friday. I will have one each week. We will all know more after our visit Monday.

Please continue to pray for Monday. I am already losing sleep...mainly because I am so anxious for the visit to get here and the diagnosis to be given. I ask for the following specific prayers:

1 - God's will!!!! God knows what is best for the three of us and my faith is in Him. HE IS IN CONTROL!!!
2 - Dr. Perry and Dr. Benton - For their knowledge and wisdom to diagnosis Mary Glenn correctly
3 - For God to prepare Shea, Mary Glenn, myself, and our family and friends' hearts for whatever the outcome may be
4 - For encouraging words at our visit Monday!

Thanks to Dr. Benton today for his encouraging prayer that we had at our visit. You are the best!

In His Words,
Bethany

Heading to the Doctor...

I am not sure if anyone really reads these post but if so please say a quick prayer for Shea, Mary Glenn, and I. We are headed to see Dr. Benton this morning. I will have my second steroid shot (the first one was NOT pleasant), glucose test, an ultrasound and then a doctor's visit. We will not check for growth but just heart rate and amount of amniotic fluid. We will be checking the growth on Monday in Jackson. Please pray that our Mary Glenn is still fighting for us and that she is okay. I didn't feel her make any significant moves yesterday so I always get a little worried...but at the same time I will not feel every move and she may just be lazy and wanting to rest!!! I will post an update soon!

Thanks in advance for the prayers!

In His Word,
Bethany

Still no pictures and I apologize. We have had a busy weekend and I need Shea to help me out with which pictures to post and how. He absolutely hates our profile picture so that will change soon. I began to look for a recent picture of us two but couldn't find any...that's so sad! The picture in our profile is at my dear friend Ashley's wedding back in February!!! I also want to post ultrasound pictures but they have to be scanned in and that is way over my head.

I did some shopping yesterday. The plan was to buy for other people as I had several gifts to buy...but that never works. My pregnant co-workers and friends, Jessica and Tammy, went to the Henn's Nest to browse. Well we noticed one rack in the back that said maternity clothes 75% OFF!!! There is no way you can pass a deal like that up so we tried on just about everything in our sizes...hahaha! I got some really good deals so if there is anyone out there in need of some maternity clothes I highly suggest for you to stop by there. The Henn's Nest will no longer carry maternity clothes and she is getting rid of her stock. GOOD DEALS!!! Last night Shea and I brought back old times and played cards with Shea's mom and her friends. I say old times because when Shea and I were dating all of his mom's friends taught me how to play cards. Let me tell you when I say play cards these people mean business. I am by no means good...but we have a BLAST! When we lived in Bassfield we played cards EVERY weekend and Shea and I haven't played in a long time. We had a lot of fun...laughed A LOT...and unfortunately the ladies lost every game. Tommy Bass got a big kick out of it though so I am glad I could make him feel good!

This morning we went to Sunday school and church. I have spent the day at the house and actually about to turn in for night. It's 9:00 and getting close to my bedtime!

Before I say goodnight I must tell special friends congratulations on the birth of their son. During this journey Shea and I have talked with many people...some new faces and some old. We have been fortunate to have met Rachel and Chip Wall. Rachel and Chip are such sweet people and also followers of Jesus Christ. They have been so helpful since we found out the news of Mary Glenn. Shea and I will be forever grateful to them and we look forward to our friendship in the future! Rachel, Chip and their daughter Zaidee welcomed Samuel "Sam" Streeter Wall into their family last Wednesday. Congratulations! We hope to see you soon!

Keep Praying! We are so thankful for the love, support, and prayers from our friends and family.

In His Words,
Bethany

25 Weeks and 5 Days

Well I couldn't go two weeks without seeing my dear friend Krystal so Shea and I went to visit her this afternoon. It just so happened that she wanted to do an ultrasound and see Mary Glenn!! As most of you know me by now I am exaggerating the truth a little. I do have a wonderful friend named Krystal but it was me that bothered her today for the ultrasound. I just couldn't stand not seeing Mary Glenn and Krystal!!! I have decided that Dr. Benton needs to let Krystal have October 6th off so she can travel to Jackson with Shea and I. Everything just seems better when Krystal is with me! I also found out today that Krystal checks the blog...so Shea and I told her she was a blog celebrity! Maybe one day she will let me take a picture of her so you guys can put a face with the name. Now for the details: Everything checked out good. Mary Glenn is right on track...still only four weeks behind in development. She weighed in at 15 ounces!!! YOU GO GIRL!!! There seemed to be a lot more amniotic fluid today and she had turned another flip for us! Shea and I are so thankful to our Lord and Savior. He has brought us this far and changed us forever! He is the only one that knows the future outcome of Mary Glenn but my trust is definitely in Him! We have seen Him work with our baby and we know He has complete control!!! What a wonderful feeling!

Please continue to pray for our visit October 6th! I am so anxious for that day to get here and get the diagnosis! I pray that God is preparing our hearts for what Dr. Perry will have to say. I have two steroid shots next week, glucose test, ultraound, and doctor visit...please pray for positive results!!! I hear that the glucose test is pretty rough but if you don't pass the first one that the second one is even worse!

I will check in with you guys later! Hope you all are doing well!

In His Love,
Bethany

A Fun Weekend

First things first...Congratulations to our friends Shay and Rob Tatum on the birth of their second daughter Rhodes (big sister is Addison) and also to Julie and Corey Tator and the birth of their second child Olivia (big brother is Ethan). We hope you all are doing well and hope to meet the new additions soon!

Shea and I had a very enjoyable weekend. Friday night we spent time with our Sunday school class at Daniel and Lucy Jussley's house. It was nice to relax and visit with friends. Afterwards I went and met up with friends Jamie, Katie and Susan. It is always so much fun hanging out with friends...we remembered old times. I know the people around us thought we were absolutely crazy!!!

Saturday was the Tri Delta reunion for the Phi Epsilon chapter at USM. It was so wonderful seeing everyone. It had been a long time. We got to visit the new sorority house which was absolutely gorgeous!!! In saying that our times at Panhell will always be remembered! It began raining at game time so Shea and I left and took the easy way out and watched the Golden Eagles lose to Marshall on tv. In fact, we watched all in state universities lose Saturday...YUCK! Saturday night we spent time with our friends and neighbors Brandi and Tony...atleast we got to watch Tony's Tigers (LSU) win!!!

Sunday was a day to praise our Lord! We had a great sermon...one of those sermons you feel like is being spoken directly to you and no one else. I would like to thank Dr. Paul Long for his message.

As far as baby Mary Glenn not much has changed. I have felt her move on occasions...nothing consistent...but it is still reassuring. Shea and I try and wait patiently for October 6th. I try not to think about what the visit may reveal to us but it is extremely hard to think about anything else. There are so many "what ifs" and I am ready to get some things answered. I know that only one person knows the real answer though and I will focus on His word. God is good!!! He gives me the strength each day to get up and get through each day. I am very thankful to call Him my Lord and Savior.

Thanks again for all of the thoughts and prayers. The power of prayer is such an awesome thing!!! Please pray for our visit on October 6th: pray for Dr. Perry as he gives us a diagnosis, for Shea and I that we can have complete peace of his diagnosis, for Mary Glenn and her health, for our family and friends, for the nurses that will assist Dr. Perry, and everyone invovled to understand the importance of using Mary Glenn to glorifying Him! As always continue to pray for God's will. God has given Shea and I so many things and has changed our lives forever since August 20th! PRAISE HIM!!!

I hope to learn how to post pictures soon. I am slowly learning how to blog!

In His Love,
Bethany

Quick Update

I promise to post more details this weekend but for now I will give a quick update on our doctor visit from yesterday.

The ultrasound went well...Mary Glenn has grown another week...so we are still 4 weeks behind in growth. She didn't gain any more ounces but did gain some grams...this is normal and not to worry. For a 21 week old baby she is right on track in her weight. We didn't discuss much with Dr. Benton. He stressed to us that the appointment with Dr. Perry on October 6th is VERY CRITICAL and IMPORTANT. Dr. Perry will be able to look over the baby from head to toe specifically looking for birth defects and any chromosomal disorders. After this appointment we will know more about delivery.

Shea and I ask that everyone begin praying for us and Dr. Perry for our October 6th visit. We pray that Mary Glenn is healthy and only just a small baby, but also that God grant us peace for whatever His will may be. Continue to pray for strength, wisdom, guidance, and peace for everyone involved and that God prepare our hearts for the future. Mary Glenn has the high chance of having many problems...we just pray that Shea, our families, and I are ready for what is to come.

A special note to Dr. Benton and Krystal...you guys are so wonderful and Shea and I are very thankful that God brought you into our lives.

In His Love,
Bethany

Encouraged

I am continually amazed. Amazed at how insignificant I feel when God shows me his mighty hand. I feel inspired and empowered, but very, very small. He is such an awesome God. So, many things have come into my life because of the grace of God. Bethany and I are blessed with so many friends and family, that many people are amazed. I don't see how we would make it without you.

The Lord Our God has seen fit to comfort Bethany and I this week with a very positive Dr.'s visit. There is tremendously more fluid around the baby. So much so that she had flipped upside down in the womb. She was moving her legs and arms and the measurements continue to show interval growth. We got to bring home a DVD of her today and have just about burned a hole through it. We really need your prayers for our Oct. 6 visit with the specialist, Dr. Perry, in Jackson. It will be critical in determining if there are any defects or markers for defects. Mary Glenn is still about 3 to 4 weeks behind Bethany in gestation.

In the coming weeks, Bethany will begin taking steroid shots to help expedite Mary Glenn's lung development. She will also begin fetal assessments to monitor the baby's vital signs and other distress markers. This is unchartered territory for us, so everyone say an extra prayer for strength and faith as we navigate this course.

It is very hard for me to contain my excitement. I try to guard my heart, but I can't get past the fact that we are not supposed (by medical theory) to be here or experiencing these things. God has revealed himself to Bethany and I in a mighty way, but we must still seek his purpose. I have prayed since finding out I would be a daddy for the Lord to give us a healty baby, if it was His will. And that if it wasn't His will to give me the faith and strength to accept it. He held up his end of the deal. He gave me that strength. He revealed parts of His will to me. So, this has already been a miracle. No matter the outcome. So, it is my job to continue to seek God's holy purpose and see that His will is done. If you are reading this and you don't know the peace that only Jesus Christ can give, I urge you to seek that peace. No matter what our world of humanism, Oprahism, and modern science says, God is real. He answers the prayers of His people. He is a God of love, but also a just God of wrath. So I beckon you to submit your life to Him.

Please continue to pray for Bethany, Mary Glenn and I. And also for our families, friends, our pastors and church as they minister to us. If you have prayed for us in the past, I want you to know that your prayers have been heard by God, felt by us and caused many miracles to occur. Thank all of you, but most of all praise be to God.

In His Grace,
Shea Mc

Quick Update

Hello to All:

I apologize for not blogging more frequently but we really haven't had any changes since last Friday. Shea and I enjoyed a relaxing weekend at home...spending time together and watching college football. Our Golden Eagles won and beat Arkansas State but the MS State Bulldogs couldn't pull it off in a game against the ranked tigers of Auburn. Sunday after church we celebrated our niece's 8th birthday! Shea's brother Marty and our nephew Lance were home from Texas due to Hurricane Ike so we enjoyed visiting with them!

The work week has been busy for both of us. I personally like it this way because it keeps my mind going in different directions and not strictly focused on the baby. But I would be telling a lie if I didn't say that most of time I am thinking about Mary Glenn. Is she moving? Has she grown? Does she still have a heartbeat? Why can't I feel her move? Are her kidneys functioning? The list can go on and on. I worry constantly and just pray that God can continue to give me peace. Most of you know that I plan things out...but right now God is making my plans and I am trying so hard to let go and be patient. I am sure that His plan is much better and bigger than mine!!!

I would like to remind everyone of our doctor's appointment tomorrow...Sept. 18th at 11:00. We will first have an ultrasound and if Mary Glenn still has a heartbeat and is growing we will visit with Dr. Benton. I will be 24 weeks and 5 days tomorrow so I pray that she is 20 weeks and 5 days and still growing!!! Please pray that God give us peace tomorrow no matter the news we will receive. As always pray for God's will to be done. Don't forget to pray for our family who is also on pins and needles every time we go for a visit. Also pray for Dr. Benton, Krystal, and the nurses...they are so awesome and have been there for us 100%!!! I couldn't ask for anything better.

I will post again tomorrow after our visit as long as it is the Lord's will.

In His Wonderful Name,
Bethany

Mary Glenn McNease

Shea and I have been asked if we have decided on a name for our baby girl...the answer is YES! Our little girl will be named Mary Glenn McNease. Mary is my grandmother's name and also Shea mother's name. Glenn is my mother's maiden name and also my middle name.

Well we got to see Mary Glenn today. We were only suppose to check for a heartbeat but Krystal and I couldn't stand it and had to look around a little bit. Things still look like they are progressing. She had a very strong heartbeat...159 beats a minute!!! She has grown another week and gained appx 3 ounces (12 ounces total or 340 grams). Krystal said her head was much rounder this week than last which is a good sign. She has moved down lower in my stomach too. She was resting today when we saw her but she did move her little arm for us. We have about the same or a little more aminiotic fluid than last week which is a good sign that the kidneys are still functioning. After our ultrasound we waited to see Dr. Benton to tell him the good news...he was very encouraged by the way she looked today but also made us realize we still have a LONG way to go.

We are definitely not out of the woods yet so keep those prayers coming!!! Shea and I are very blessed to have everyone praying for us...and I promise you Mary Glenn hears them too! We are going through a lot of ups and downs in life right now and it is reassuring to have friends and family with you during the journey. A friend of mine told me about a song from MercyMe named Bring the Rain. I have posted the lyrics below.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

[1st Chorus]

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing

Holy holy holy
you are holy
you are holy

This song reflects my feelings exactly...whatever it takes to praise God we must do. He has blessed us thus far with Mary Glenn. I pray that her progress continues and she will be a healthy baby upon delivery. But we must pray for His will and use Mary Glenn to glorify His name...now, tomorrow, and forever. HE IS HOLY!!!

Begin praying for our next doctor's appointment in Hattiesburg on Thursday (9/18/08) at 11:00. We will have another ultrasound and then visit with Dr. Benton.

We love you all!
Bethany

Giving In...

Hello to All:

I wanted to make a quick post and ask for special prayers! I couldn't wait any longer and I am going to have an ultrasound tomorrow, Friday, September 12th at 4:15. We will only check for a heartbeat but atleast it will ease my mind on what is going on inside me.

I have felt a little movement from the baby, but the baby is still very small and all her movements I will not be able to feel quite yet. But in saying that when I go a day and haven't felt anything I begin to start worrying...it's just me being human!

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. Shea and I feel them every moment of every day. I will post an update tomorrow night after our appointment...God willing.

Love you all!
Bethany

Connecting The Dots

I have been waiting until I thought the time was right to type this blog. I feel so strongly that the Lord is telling me to do it now, so I will try. Let me apologize in advance for it's length. The goal here is to try and show in words how, in the words of H.G. Spafford (It Is Well With My Soul), my faith has been made sight. I told you in an earlier blog that nothing is random. So let's look at the actual events up to this point and how God's hand has been leading and directing us.

Now it goes without saying that God's hand is in the fact that we each get to live and breathe, so we'll concentrate more on the events of our experience with our baby. I will try to limit these as much as possible and this list is in no way comprehensive:

1. We changed doctors early in this pregnancy. Bethany and I did this for totally selfish reasons and we readily admit it. And that is why it is all the more true that God will accomplish his will even when we don't seek it. I am not slighting our former physician, who is wonderful, and our switch had nothing to do with anything service oriented, medical or religious. I just could not imagine going through these times without Dr. Louis Benton. He is a true man of God, and has ministered to Bethany and I, not only medically, but spiritually. Our God is sovereign and He does what He pleases.

2. On the day we got the terrible news, it appeared that we would have to wait in agony to see the specialist. And then again, when we found out this encouraging news, we were told it would be a week. In both instances, while the appointment was being made there were cancellations which allowed us to see the specialist within 24 hours. I believe God was merciful in both respects to me and my wife and intervened in order to do so.

3. The most obvious example in all of this is that we were told our baby would not survive. We spent two weeks going to the clinic so that Crystal (I think of her as our ultrasound tech.) could check for a heartbeat to see if it was time to deliver our stillborn child. This last Thursday, Bethany called me and asked if she should pack a bag in case we had to stay in the hospital. I told her yes, because we both felt like there would not be a heartbeat. We had been praying for the Lord to be merciful, and end our baby's suffering if it was his will. Well, as you know, it wasn't. Our baby was still alive, not only that it had grown, produced amniotic fluid, and has kidney's and a bladder. I don't think this needs any theological explanation.

4. The part of the story that is not known is what I am about to tell you. It is very personal, but I feel like it is the greatest example of God's leading hand and the power of prayer. Upon hearing the news that our child would not survive, we were presented with three options. The first was wait and see if the heart continues to beat until term and deliver a child without lungs. This was statistically the least likely. Second, wait until the heart stopped and deliver a stillborn child. An option all the physicians felt was very likely and short term. And last, terminate the pregnancy by evacuating the uterus. This is medically called a therapeutic intervention. At first, we had no idea what to do. Personally, I did not want my precious wife to suffer or be stigmatized by waiting for our baby to die. Yet, I didn't know how to view a therapeutic intervention from a Christian standpoint. After council with pastors, family and doctors we turned to prayer. And asked for guidance and that God's will be revealed to us. After earnestly seeking the Lord we both emerged with the peace that we could wait on the Lord. We chose to carry the baby and for the next two week awaited the inevitable death of our child. As you know that is not what has happened and God has seen fit to intervene and bless us once again.

I do not know what the outcome of this journey will be. Our baby could be born a little on the small side and healthy, it could have a chromosomal abnormality, or it could expire as I type this. No matter the outcome, it has been miraculous in my life, my wife's life and in our marriage. I have been able to experience the gracious, beautiful hand of the master sculpting me, a formless piece of clay. And I have developed a love for my wife that surpasses the false and phony ideals of Hollywood and society in general. It is a love that is unconditional and Christ based.

As I stated before, I apologize for the length of this post. Keep in mind also that these are just a few of the examples we have seen in the past weeks of God's sovereignty and righteousness.

In His Grace,
Shea Mc

Cautiously Optimistic

Wow...what a last few days. A day of thanksgiving! A day to glorify our God! Someone described our past two weeks like a roller coaster that we can't get off. That is correct but to be honest I am not sure God is ready for us to finish the ride...I believe He has a lot more in store for us. We feel lucky that he has chosen us to take on this situation...we prepare more and more each day...but I don't think we will ever be fully prepared...we are only human.

We went to see the specialist yesterday, Dr. Ken Perry. He is another great doctor. The Lord has blessed us with amazing and talented doctors. So for the details...There is more amniotic fluid than two weeks ago which is a good sign. There is a bladder! We (no medical background) saw one kidney, but Dr. Perry believes there are two. Because we are not at a normal stage of amniotic fluid it is still hard to see everything but we see things more clearly than before. In two weeks the baby has grown two weeks. Yippee!! That is really good news. But the baby is also still 4 weeks behind in development. Right now I am 23 weeks and the baby is measuring 19 weeks. The doctor did find two factors that are VERY common in a pregnancy yet they are also factors in chromosomal disorders. In saying that Shea and I do not have a history of these disorders and I am still young in the doctor's eyes which is good. BUT there is always a possibility. To be honest with you all I am trying not to focus on that news...but trying to stay level headed. Our baby is by no means "out of the woods", but we do have more hope than we did two weeks ago.

So our first question was..."what now?". We will see Dr. Benton in Hattiesburg in two weeks...September 18th at 11:00. At this visit we will have another ultrasound and then visit with Dr. Benton. This ultrasound is VERY important. If things are moving on track we should have grown another two weeks and there should be more amniotic fluid...so begin praying! Then we will visit with Dr. Perry two weeks after we see Dr. Benton for another ultrasound. The visit with Dr. Perry is October 6th at 11:00. If things are still progressing we will begin doing fetal assessments around 28 weeks making sure that our baby girl is not in distress. Why 28 weeks??? Well the baby still has a chance of survival outside the womb at 28 weeks. In a normal pregnancy the baby could maybe survive around 24 weeks outside the womb...but as we all know...my pregnancy is by no means normal. If we can make it to 34 weeks then we have even a better chance of survival outside the womb. In a perfect world I would be able to carry the baby much longer and if the baby is okay inside the womb then I feel the doctors will wait until she is ready...but this is a long way away and we still have a steep hill to climb.

A lot of questions have been asked over the past two days so I will try to explain some of the more popular questions...
Maybe your dates are wrong? This is not true. We are 23 weeks. Shea and I had an ultrasound at 5 weeks and the baby measured 5 weeks and then another at 7 weeks to make sure we were growing like normal and we measured 7 weeks.
Will the baby catch up inside the womb? No. We are already under the normal curve. We are four weeks behind...but what we want is for us to stay only 4 weeks behind and NOT lose any ground.
What about the baby's organs? The baby's organs do have a chance to mature and be "normal". We will continue to monitor them on a bi-weekly basis.
Will we deliver a "normal" baby? Our baby will never be a 7 lb baby. We do know that we need our baby to be atleast 1 lb at birth...but of course we would like for it to weigh much more.

So basically we now WAIT!!! As you all know I DO NOT like this word. The good Lord knows that WAIT and PATIENCE are not my best qualities. I believe that is why HE is making me learn more about these two words. I am trying so very hard to be patient...but two weeks is a LONG time in my eyes. I wish I could continually monitor her and watch it day by day but that is not in God's plans. Shea and I need more prayers now than ever. Prayers are so important...just ask us and our baby girl.
Specific Prayer Requests:
- For God's will to be done - We are only human and of course we want you all to pray for continued progress and a healthy baby but also we must understand that this may not be His will
- To prepare our family for God's will - There are so many things that can happen now, the baby may not survive, the baby may be VERY premature, the baby could have chromosomal disorders, the baby may be premature but healthy
- Strength, guidance, and wisdom for Shea and I
- Patience for myself
- Our baby girl - We all know she is definitely a fighter, we just want her to stay healthy
- Blessings to our Lord and Savior and that Shea and I use this baby to glorify Him

As most of you can probably tell I give more details and Shea gives more analytical views...I am an accountant and he is an engineer...what else do I have to say. I am sure Shea will post later. I will be checking in later also and WAITING and PRAYING!!! We love you all and hopefully good news will continue.

A friend gave us these two verses yesterday:

Lamentations 3:22-23: "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness."

Psalm 120:1: "In my distress I cried to the Lord, and He heard me."

In His loving word,
Bethany